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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Clean break with a child?

12 replies

ComfyOldPants · 05/04/2022 19:16

Tried googling and found some semi-helpful info but ended up getting soooo confused…

Basically tomorrow I’m planning to get the process started of divorcing the narc. It’s definitely over, he’s moved in with the ‘other woman’ last week.

We never bought a house together, no joint accounts or anything. No financial ties whatsoever. Apart from DD.

I’m not interested in having anything from him or his future income (pensions etc), but I’d like to protect my future inheritance (from sale of a house), so in this respect a clean break order is ideal. I also don’t currently get any maintenance payments from him for DD, but may want to do this in future. From my masses of googling I think I can do this as CMS can overrule court order after a year.

Any legal brains out there who can clarify things, my head is just swirling with info right now.

Oh and I’m planning on doing the divorce application online, hopefully with a reduction in court fees (due to my income), and I would be getting a solicitor for the clean break part.

OP posts:
Luzina · 05/04/2022 19:17

Go to a solicitor for initial advice before you do anything else.

sophienelisse · 05/04/2022 19:18

Do not rely on the CMS.

Especially if your ex is self employed

See a solicitor and get your clean break but equally whilst you are there ask about payment for support for your child

Original poster
ComfyOldPants · 06/04/2022 09:47

He’s not self employed, and earns double what I do. He’s also now part of a 2-income household so there’s plenty of disposable income on that side.

I don’t want anything from him, just the possibility of child maintenance in future if things become hostile between us, and he’s unwilling to communicate (never been his strong point but that’s a rant for another day!)

OP posts:
mocktail · 06/04/2022 09:50

Child maintenance is separate from the divorce settlement. He should be contributing though - why don't you want him to? And your future inheritance is safe - no reason why it would be considered.

mocktail · 06/04/2022 09:52

Disclaimer: IANAL but on the face of it a clean break should be straightforward in your circumstances.

How long have you been together and how long married?

LillyDeValley · 06/04/2022 09:53

Court orders in relation to child maintenance only are in force for 1 year. After that either party can apply to the CMS.

Just because you have a clean break order does not mean at any time you can't apply to CMS (because the order would be silent on child maintenance).

LillyDeValley · 06/04/2022 09:55

Be careful of going, "I don't want anything from him" or thinking just because there weren't joint assets then there may not be need for some financial order. Even non-matrimonial assets can be dipped into in terms of need.

As others have mentioned, I would go to a solicitor to discuss everything.

Mumof3confused · 06/04/2022 09:56

Why don’t you want anything from him? If not for you, for your child. Put the money away for university or a nest egg. You would be entitled to a share of your ExH’s pension and assets and I think you should try to secure your child’s future. CMS can be very hit and miss as I understand it.

Fireflygal · 06/04/2022 09:56

That sounds very straight forward however if there is such an income disparity (is he a high earner?) then a judge might question why you are getting more.

A good solicitor has a duty of care to ensure that the child is taken care of so you will asked about finances, even if you state you want a clean break.

It's likely you may both need to complete Form E but the numbers involved, child's age, length of marriage, your ages will be relevant. If he is a Narc, he will lie about his financial position and not be concerned about making a court declaration so a judge won't see the real figures.

Is he aware you will petition for divorce?

millymolls · 06/04/2022 10:19

Agree with others
Child maintenance and the divorce are very separate
You can get a clean break divorce settlement but your ex should still be paying child maintenance
Put a claim in !

Original poster
ComfyOldPants · 06/04/2022 10:47

DD is 6, married for 7 years (together for 10). He is 30, I’m 34.

He’s not aware I’ll be filing but it shouldn’t be a surprise whatsoever.

I’m not on a ‘low’ income, he fairly recently got a new job that pays nicely. The money thing is that I don’t want his money for myself, my wages will suffice and I can live the lifestyle that I want. We are pretty good at sharing the parenting at the moment, and I have her with me more nights than him (easier for school run) and school holidays are shared. So the amount we each spend on her is shared too.

It’s all pretty amicable, and I hope we are both sensible enough to carry on doing things fairly even though I can’t stand him lol.

I think I’ll get the whole process started, then move on to finding a solicitor who won’t make me bankrupt to draft the order, ready for the nisi/conditional order stage.

OP posts:
ItsDinah · 06/04/2022 15:19

Bear in mind that CMS won't deal with maintenance if he earns more than £3,000 a week. You'd need the court to deal with that. You're getting a reduction in court fees due to your low income. It seems rash to forego any cash settlement from him as part of your clean break unless you have substantial savings. Perhaps agree he pays into savings/investments for university costs.

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