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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Divorce query (husband business)

18 replies

Helpmeleaveplease123 · 04/04/2022 11:19

Hi,

I am in need of some help please.

I found out yesterday that my husband is having an affair. He doesn’t know that I know. I currently don’t work (SAHM). I have limited access to cash, and therefore legal help.

My query being, I know the equity we have in our house, we have very little else in assets (couple of cars, no pension, nothing valuable like watches, jewellery etc) - the mortgage has always been our priority. We put a big chunk of cash in when we moved last year too. But how would his business be valued?

I know that my daughter and I would have enough cash to rent comfortably for a couple of years nearby to her school (which is in an affluent area) from the sale of the house.

But I want to take him to the cleaners. His business is very successful but would I be entitled to a share of that pie? I’ve been hugely supportive of him during the course of this company evolving into what it is today.

How do these things work?

I’m sorry if this appears rambling. I have nobody IRL to talk to about this. I feel very isolated.

OP posts:

anewlife22 · 04/04/2022 11:21

Yes you would and more than half I would think. Just go and get advice from a solicitor. They can help you. Don't say a word to him.

You're entitled to your share of all assets. Do you have access to accounts etc?

millymolls · 04/04/2022 11:47

You don’t get to take him to the cleaners
Financial split should achieve a fair outcome for both parties
You’ll be expected to work and provide for yourself
The fact you are currently sahm should see some criteria add weight to you needing a higher split of equity
What sort of company is it? One man band/sold trader, limited?!

Turningpurple · 04/04/2022 11:50

It really depends on how his company is set up.

Its early days and I get ita very emotional. But let the 'take him to the cleaners' aim go.

That sort of think often ends with only the solicitors walking away as winners.

Rage and let your emotions our then treat this like a business negotiation.

NarcissasMumintheDoghouse · 04/04/2022 12:15

It is very important that you gather evidence of the company's profitability before your husband realises you are going to divorce him and starts hiding information.

If he has submitted tax returns or accounts, get copies of them a.s.a.p

MayMorris · 04/04/2022 20:31

@millymolls

You don’t get to take him to the cleaners Financial split should achieve a fair outcome for both parties You’ll be expected to work and provide for yourself The fact you are currently sahm should see some criteria add weight to you needing a higher split of equity What sort of company is it? One man band/sold trader, limited?!

This is important Financial settlements do NOT take into account behaviour, even when there has been unreasonable behaviour or abuse. The more anger and retribution you feel and try to take out, the more it will cost you in solicitors fees. It is in your interests to wrk your probably perfectly reasonable anger for the time being and avoid further erosion of your assets

MayMorris · 04/04/2022 20:32

Wrk= park

Mumof3confused · 04/04/2022 23:07

You can’t take him to the cleaners, sadly but if you can get a solicitor to help advise you, you will know what you should be aiming for. Will he have the children do you think? If they are staying mostly with you and you’ve been a SAHM you will be entitled to more but you will be expected to work. Can a relative help you fund your initial solicitors session? I worked with a firm called Vanderpump & Sykes who charge a fixed fee of £90 for your initial a session which lasted for 2 hours. You’ll need details of his earnings, do you have access to any tax returns, management accounts, company accounts?

Original poster

Helpmeleaveplease123 · 05/04/2022 09:28

Thank you so much for your replies, it felt so good to actually feel like I was speaking out about this

My soon to be ex husband has a dodgy accountant who is also his best friend so getting hold of docs is impossible

I think my only option is to steal some cash from the stash in his garden office he thinks I don’t know about and make an excuse to go out so I can pay it into my bank account (I have 36p in there currently as I have to use the joint account for everything). Then I can look at approaching a solicitor for legal advice

I am absolutely broken

OP posts:

DenholmElliot · 05/04/2022 09:33

It very much depends what sort of a business it is? Is it a limited company, or sole trader?

Original poster

Helpmeleaveplease123 · 05/04/2022 09:38

He has about 3 limited companies that I know about and operates as a sole trader as well I think? Can you do that?

OP posts:

DenholmElliot · 05/04/2022 09:40

Yes you can do that

I find it almost impossible to believe that he has 3 limited companies and no pension. Do some more digging.

AnotherVice · 05/04/2022 09:41

Just to give you some non-ethical advice, I was in a similar situation and for a few months I used the joint account to buy Tesco/Sainsbury's gift cards in with the food shopping. I couldn't touch his company as he would have instantly devalued it and those cards meant I could actually feed myself for a few weeks, it really helped.

DenholmElliot · 05/04/2022 09:47

@AnotherVice

Some more non-ethical advice from me - ring your utility company and say can you pay more every month because you are afraid of getting a really big bill in the winter.

Put the increased payments in your Form E. Get nice big refund when divorce finalised

Tryingtokeepgoing · 05/04/2022 09:48

Limited companies have to file certain documents at companies house, one of which is annual accounts. While it’s likely his businesses are small enough to file ‘micro entity’ accounts which means you won’t see a profit and loss account, you will see a balance sheet which will show if if there are any retained earnings in the companies, and any assets / liabilities.

find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/?_ga=2.68423506.2125021854.1649148383-381365250.1648765654

You can also search by directors to see if there are other companies that you are not aware of

Hoppinggreen · 05/04/2022 09:51

I am not a lawyer but I think that it would be ok to take the cash and put it in your account, although it may be taken into account in the final settlement
I’m so sorry OP, this is awful and if the Shithead is SE with a dodgy Accountant mate it’s going to make things harder. Try and gather and paperwork that’s in the house

Original poster

Helpmeleaveplease123 · 05/04/2022 10:02

@DenholmElliot

Yes you can do that

I find it almost impossible to believe that he has 3 limited companies and no pension. Do some more digging.

At this point I’m doubting everything that I thought I knew, he’s going out later so I am going to tear this house and his office apart

OP posts:

Original poster

Helpmeleaveplease123 · 05/04/2022 10:03

I am grateful for the ‘non ethical advice’

OP posts:

Mindymomo · 05/04/2022 10:20

My only advice is to get copies of everything, bank statements, pensions, ISA’s, company accounts for DH should be filed online, but if you see them get copies. Do you have online banking, you may need to withdraw money quickly from joint account. Like previous post, try and take cash out of joint account, if he asks say card machine wasn’t working in such a shop, so had to pay cash. Get cash back in supermarkets as well. So sorry you are going through this.

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