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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Family home

10 replies

ohlittlemy · 03/04/2022 12:54

There isn't a lot of equity in the house (around £40k) and we've just taken out a new mortgage deal so the repayment charges are around £9000!
Because of this, and for stability for DS I think it would be best if I stayed in the family home with him (I'd have him most of the time, DH would have him weekends likely) and we sold the house at a later date.
Has anyone had experience of this?
I work part time but I can afford the outgoings alone providing I'd get UC and maintenance. It would likely be fairly tight though. I could also increase my hours at work too (although having checked this, it would wipe out any UC I'd get!)
DH is a higher earner than me so could afford to rent somewhere although he often says he'd struggle to afford anywhere (not sure if this is true or whether he's just trying to make me feel bad as separating isn't what he wants).
I'm just trying to see what options I have because I feel stuck at the moment and it's such a horrible feeling 😔
Or would it be better if we sold, took the hit with the fees and both went on to rent somewhere?
I know I could speak to a solicitor about this but just seeing if anyone has any experience/guidance. Solicitors aren't cheap!

OP posts:
marjayy · 03/04/2022 13:02

What are each of your salaries?

ohlittlemy · 03/04/2022 13:16

@marjayy

What are each of your salaries?
Working 3 days I earn just over £19,000. DH's basic salary is around £27,000 but he gets an annual bonus of around £15,000 (before tax).
OP posts:
marjayy · 03/04/2022 13:18

Ah. Hmmm his salary isn't particularly high either.

I think you'd be best of having a clean break, splitting any equity, and getting your own smaller places.

ohlittlemy · 03/04/2022 13:26

@marjayy

Ah. Hmmm his salary isn't particularly high either.

I think you'd be best of having a clean break, splitting any equity, and getting your own smaller places.

You're probably right. My fear is that I just can't afford to be a single parent, or that neither of us can afford to be without the other. Makes me feel really stuck 😔
OP posts:
PicaK · 03/04/2022 13:33

Birds nest? Swop in and out for a couple of years? Could work if you're amicable. Your 20k might take you over the UC limit.

millymolls · 03/04/2022 13:46

His salary is not high enough really to support this
The key thing is whether his name can be taken off the mortgage and his share of any equity is deferred or whether you don’t earn allow for a lender to do so. If not they will significantly impact his ability to buy

Can you work full time?
Are there any assets
What time period are you looking at re ‘sell the home in the future’? A year? 3? 15??

ohlittlemy · 03/04/2022 13:57

@millymolls

His salary is not high enough really to support this The key thing is whether his name can be taken off the mortgage and his share of any equity is deferred or whether you don’t earn allow for a lender to do so. If not they will significantly impact his ability to buy

Can you work full time?
Are there any assets
What time period are you looking at re ‘sell the home in the future’? A year? 3? 15??

Even if I was paying the full monthly mortgage payments on my own? I could work full time but I'd rather not whilst DS is not in school as I feel like I'd never see him 😔 We have a small amount in savings and we each have a pension but we've only been married for 5 years so that probably wouldn't be worth taking into account.
OP posts:
Laptopsandmouses · 03/04/2022 14:00

He’s a higher earner than you but not a high earner. You can’t get what’s not there and expect him to pay maintenance and also be able to rent. It needs ro be sold.

ohlittlemy · 03/04/2022 14:22

@Laptopsandmouses

He’s a higher earner than you but not a high earner. You can’t get what’s not there and expect him to pay maintenance and also be able to rent. It needs ro be sold.
Yeah you're right, that's probably the only way. I think I just feel a bit worried about the next step after that. Where me and DS would live, all my savings going on rent for example. But probably can't be avoided I suppose.
OP posts:
millymolls · 03/04/2022 15:16

You’d need to seek mortgage advice and see if anyone would allow you to take on a single mortgage based on earnings and their affordability checks

I get that you like part time but needs must and situations change and you’ll be expected to maximise your earnings as well as your ex. How old is your child?
He’s not a high earner so most likely he’ll only be expected to pay cms and nothing else

Courts don’t necessarily care about keeping people in mortgages homes and renting is deemed acceptable. However, housing needs of the child will take priority- but your ex also needs adequate housing for himself and his child

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