What next?

[Whatadayyyy]

Ex husband and I are struggling to come to an agreement regarding the children. I have offered him a few different options and I am trying my best to be accommodating to him and make sure the kids get equal time with both of us but he is being so difficult and won’t agree to anything. What is the process if we can’t come to an agreement?

What does he want and his far apart are you in terms of what you’re both proposing?

I am proposing an equal split of school holidays and every other weekend. He is proposing he has the majority of weekends and just won’t agree to anything regarding the holidays. Honestly I don’t know what more he wants

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time!

I don't have any experience in this, but I do know that my husband is changeable. He's stubborn as anything in the beginning, but given time, he often changes his mind and comes round to my point of view. So is it possible that you could put a proviso on whatever terms he wants, so that they're only temporary for now? For example, you could say that in x months' time, you both agree to re-evaluate the situation together.

I'm guessing that once he sees how much hard work it is to look after the children (I don't know how old they are), he's highly likely to change his view!

Thank you, I just can’t go along with what he is proposing as I will have no time with the kids then. It’s just so frustrating as I’m trying to make it as fair and equal as possible but he just doesn’t see that. I feel like he will disagree with me regardless of what I suggest

If you can't agree via mediation then it will end up in court.

Your expectation of EOW for yourself is utterly reasonable, why won't he have weekday overnights?

He won’t get every weekend
Reiterate that so he needs to come back to the table with a more reasonable proposal
If not, it will go to court - and he’ll most likely get eow anyway

Thank you. He can’t have kids mid week overnight at the moment due to how far away he is living from school and where.
I just hope we can resolve it without the need for court. I just keep thinking, surely a judge would see what I’ve suggested and ask him what the problem is?! But then why is his solicitor not managing his expectations

"The children need leisure time with both of their parents, you can have them during them week as well"

Not your problem he lives too far from school. He could book a Travelodge or take them out for tea after school.

@Whatadayyyy
I feel your pain dealing with an unreasonable ex!

Of course up to you what you do - you are certainly being fair. But are these things set in stone though?

My inclination would be to give him what he wants, and when he sees how exhausting it is to have them every weekend/holiday, he will in time let you have them more. Reverse psychology!

But like I say, up to you.

Personally I wouldn’t agree to that as it can set a precedent which can then be hard to move back from and OP shouldn’t have to play games to get what is reasonable
It’s his responsibility to live closer to facilitate overnights - not yours to relinquish weekends. No idea why he lives away but that his choice/ problem and if he wants decent relationship with his children should consider seriously

Just take it to court