How on earth does divorce work?!

[SunnySummerSun]

Which way round is the process, especially in an acrimonious divorce where finances and childcare arrangements are contested

Assuming the start position is that both parties reside in the FMH, at what point do you then live apart? I can't work out how it works when there's no agreement over what happens to the children, and a court has to decide.

It seems that you need to have finances sorted and childcare arrangements in place before you can do anything but surely that's not the case?

Yet when you hear of court dates for finances and for family court, they're often many months apart, I can't imagine they ever dovetail, so do you have to live together for a year and beyond while fighting it out in courts?

If the police have been involved due to DA what positive action have they taken to separate you? Did he temporarily leave but then return to the property?

Did you provide a statement and support a prosecution of him?

@Noclosure

If the police have been involved due to DA what positive action have they taken to separate you? Did he temporarily leave but then return to the property?

Did you provide a statement and support a prosecution of him?

Unfortunately I went to NCDV who told me to log it with police and then I got the non-mol. The non-mol is while we both live in the same house as my solicitor at the time disagreed with NCDV about occupation order, saying it's draconian and has to be more extreme than what I've reported.

Police keep saying they wish I'd got occupation order at the same time as the non-mol.

It's almost unbearable living here. But some of the DA was relating to me and some the children, so we're fighting it out in family court. However, while this all goes on, I can't just move out and take the kids as he expects to have access to them as he has done while we all live together. This is the problem I'm up against. And that's why I was wondering how it all works out if you disagree over the custody, does they make it impossible to actually move out until the childcare is sorted? Which comes first though? I suppose it's got to be family court first, yet ironically that's the one I expect to be the most heavily contested and therefore take the longest. And meanwhile we all live here and everyone's health suffers.

You know you can just move out and then sort it out through the family courts?

If you are doing all that and paying for it anyway why would you put yourself through the extra stress of living with an abuser for longer?

@Noclosure

You know you can just move out and then sort it out through the family courts?

If you are doing all that and paying for it anyway why would you put yourself through the extra stress of living with an abuser for longer?

No, I don't! There's already a court agreement with the children in place through the non molestation order, but it's specific to us living under the same roof. My solicitor didn't seem to think I could deny him that access if I move out, and if I can't deny that access then they're not as safe as if I were still in the house with them.

What does the order actually say? When is it valid until? This is a hugely unusual situation.