Help needed is this parental alienation

[lifeisflyingby]

Hi all,

Sorry for posting again, I just really need some help!

Please can anyone offer me some advice. I separated from my exh in 2018. He was controlling and emotionally abusive. Not massively but enough that I couldn't do xyz activity or express how I was feeling.

Fast forward 4 years and I'm still having him try and control me though out DS8 .. just things like making sure he has a late bed time thst I wouldn't approve of, telling him I'm wrong in everything and me having to jump through hoops to get every little appointment signed off by him. Saying bad things about me too!

I'm normally good at breezing past it all and ignoring it but I'm struggling recently and it's really effecting me

My question is .... has anyone been through this. How did you or do you cope and finally .... does it stop!!

Thank you!!

I'm not sure I would call it parental alienation as such.

What is your arrangement for the dc - as this could influence responses regarding bedtimes etc, and what sort of appointments are you talking about?

My ex tried all sorts of shit via the kids when we split up, despite not actually seeing them very often at all. As soon as I learned not to respond and just do the best thing by the kids, he magically stopped being such a massive twat.

The only thing you have mentioned there that could be parental alienation is him saying bad things about you to your child.

Without examples of what he is saying it is difficult to judge whether it is.

Having bedtimes etc that you don't approve of is just a different parenting style.

Ignore his rubbish parenting ideas. Make your home a safe loving place for your ds. In time he will come to know his df's game. My dc went nc with their df for his lack of parenting and hatred of me.

The saying nasty things is parental alienation, although he is stupid as that will backfire massively as your son matures and can see right through it. What is your child contact arrangements? What you do on your time is none of his business, and visa versa. Id ignore mot of what he does and you dont need his permission for appointments in your time, just go ahead and do what needs to be done. And grey rock the loser.

The saying bad things about you isn't great but I guess it depends what it is. The bedtimes you just have to accept and ignore. Do your own thing when dc is with you and he'll do his. Why does he have to sign off on appointments? Again he arranges stuff on his time and you on yours surely?