Alimony in Scotland

[AlimonyHelp]

Name changed for this as it is very outing but I’ve been on Mumsnet since the early days.

Has anyone had any experience of paying alimony in Scotland?

DH and I separated last year as he was becoming verbally abusive towards me and I had enough of it. We have been together for 18 years, married for 16 years. During that time I have been the breadwinner and have always worked full time, except for 6 months mat leave when our son was born (DS now 14 yo). DH has yo-yo’d between part time jobs and he has had over 14 jobs in that time. I was happy enough with that in the early days as it meant he was there for our son after school etc. But there’s really no need for that now, and there hasn’t been for a while.

DH is now training to be a teacher which I think is great and he will be a good teacher but he expects me to continue to fund his lifestyle while he is at uni. I have been forced out of the family home and am living with DM as there isn’t the space for us to sleep separately at home. So I continue to pay the mortgage and all the bills, including his mobile and car loan.

The house is on the market and I am happy to split the proceeds 50:50, and continue to pay for his mobile and car until he completes teacher training. But he wants more and will be making an application to the court for alimony.

I haven’t spoken to a solicitor yet as
I’d hoped to keep everything amicable. DS is sitting exams next year and I want everything settled before then as it isn’t fair on him. I will remain local to DS’s school but DH is moving 20 miles away and expects us to split custody of DS 50:50, but I don’t know how that will work.

Any advice gratefully received 😊

It won't be a friendly divorce. I doubt he'd get alimony.

I would post in Legal and Scotsnet

He's got it all, hasn't he.

I would consult a solicitor and not fuck about. You could ask Women's Aid for a recommendation, even if you don't need their support (but the fact that he was verbally abusive and sounds a bit controlling, if they offer it, don't dismiss it immediately).

@Orgasmagorical

He's got it all, hasn't he.

I would consult a solicitor and not fuck about. You could ask Women's Aid for a recommendation, even if you don't need their support (but the fact that he was verbally abusive and sounds a bit controlling, if they offer it, don't dismiss it immediately).

That's what my BF says. She thinks I'm a mug.

@coodawoodashooda

It won't be a friendly divorce. I doubt he'd get alimony.

He reckons that because he will be left significantly disadvantaged due to the divorce, he will be entitled to alimony. He is already getting 50% of the house proceeds.

Erm stop paying his phone bill!

Well a quick goodie suggest spousal in Scotland is very rare, limited to a max of 3 years and only if the other party is in financial position to do so

So it seems highly unlikely

See a solicitor and get them to fight your corner. Seems he’s chancing his arm

Scots law prefers & clean break.

Have you both obtained a CETV for pension valuations yet?

Agree you need a good solicitor. Yours will likely tell you what your best case scenario is - as will his. The answer will be negotiated in the middle. Cases rarely go to court - it's all negotiated by solicitors writing to each other at £300 an hour, so you really want to avoid that.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Spoke with a friend today who has recommended a good divorce lawyer so I'm going to speak to them next week. We always said that we wanted to avoid going down this route as it is so costly. I just feel like a cash cow to him.

We always said that we wanted to avoid going down this route as it is so costly.

Was it 'we' who said that or him? My ex was very good at manipulating me into thinking the same way as him ... until I realised these things were always for his benefit.

Trust me, it will be worth paying the money for a good solicitor just so you're not conned out of any more by your ex.

I don't think you're a mug, you've been groomed