Positive post-divorce stories please

[WingingIt90909]

I'd really like to hear from anyone who's been through the divorce process and come out the other side, who now feels positive about the future, and the decision they made. Going through the process at the moment, and underestimated how drained I would feel by it all. Feeling okay some days, and then full of fear the next, worrying about whether I've made the right decision or not! In need of some positivity today. Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

My life is infinitely better now that I'm divorced. Cannot describe how much happier I am, like a load lifted off. Our house is so peaceful now, so happy, full of positivity. I love dating again, I'm like a teenager only with a far higher bar. My exhusband is a better exhusband than he was a husband- he's a much better father to our girls now - actually does stuff with them now, never did before. Never shirked on payments. And I absolutely love my weekends off guilt free. I'd wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who can logistically manage it.

@WingingIt90909

I'm loving these positive post-divorce stories...there is life after divorce! Hey *@treasure47* I'm getting on ok thanks, got an appointment with solicitor this week to clarify my options, and what I can realistically ask for/negotiate. Also seems there is a potential job offer/promotion coming up for me, so that will help with becoming financially independent :) Husband won't move out until divorce proceedings concluded, so it looks like another 6 months of living together! Will just have to get on with it I guess. How are you getting on?

That all sounds promising! How is it living together? Things aren't great - we've had the "final" conversation a few times now and think that's it and things just sort of go back to normal. I have a lot of fear and guilt because DH doesn't want to separate and I think he's hoping I'll feel differently. I hate that this is happening because I'm scared about the future and also feel like it's unfair to ask him to move out or anything even though I also feel like I need space from him. It's just so difficult when we have a child and we need to try and be happy around him.

@treasure47 how did you get on? I'm in a very similar situation. Married with child and we've just drifted apart and become more like friends. I've said I'm not fully happy a few times over the years and nothing much has changed. Have stayed because we've been together for 12 years, have a house, child, nothing BAD has happened. Ideally don't want to split my family apart and regret it. Looking for positive divorce/separation stories.

I posted on here in 2022 when we were in the angry (him) and exhausting part of the e process. It got worse before it got better but from the start of 2023 when we moved into seperate places it has been so much better. We are now really amicable and co parenting realy well and are in much better places. The kids have adapted well and although my eldest is definitely still feeling the impacts of the pre move unpleasantness we are getting through it. I have a partner who is lovely, taking it slowly as he lives far away but it works really well for my set up with the kids. There is defo light at the end of the tunnel and it IS without question better than being married to someone you don’t love or want to be with.

I've just been reading through the above as I'm needing to hear some positivity right now. My husband & I have been together for 20 years & married for 10. We have two kids, 7 & 3. I've been unhappy for some time & things have been rocky at home since last year. I told him a few days ago that I think we've reached the end of the road. It's so so hard. One minute he accepts it & then the next he doesn't. We're going to have to live together whilst we sort finances etc. So many emotions - anxious, scared. Hoping it gets better.

Same here @Anon1621
Keep doubting myself that I’m chasing a dream of the grass is greener and maybe having a nice house and happy children even with someone I don’t love should be enough for me.

Ive known for years I’m not happy and the idea of the kids being grown up and being left just us too is part of what’s pushed me to this point.
He doesn’t want to accept it and is either crying and begging or angry and saying I will never get his money. It’s exhausting.

hoping this will be worth it in the end

It's so hard isn't it. He wants to give it until the end of the year - saying he'll change & be the husband & dad I've always wanted him to be. I just tried to tell him I am pretty sure in my decision & he basically said I'm not being fair on our boys by not giving them one last holiday (we have summer hol booked with friends) & one last Christmas. I can't work out if I'm being manipulated or if I'm the one being unreasonable. This is the second time I've tried to end it & he just won't let me. I get that he's trying to fight for us, but I'm struggling. The house has been toxic for months & now he's suddenly playing dad / husband of the year. He keeps saying he's not messing with my head but it feels like that's exactly what he's doing.

I have moved on, but ex has not. They take it out on the two children.

Thankfully, the youngest seems to be on target to commence University in September and will live eslewhere.

Good to hear there are some success stories.

This thread has been useful thanks so much.

im not married but at the start of a separation and I have that belly dropping moment where I think “what am I doing?” Every few days but I then remember I’m single now, it’s just we live in the same house. It’s a life limiting limbo and I don’t want to look back in 10 years when children fly the nest and realise I wasted MY happiness

How old are your children? And what's your reasons for separation? It's such a big decision to make. I am in the same boat so I do feel for you.

I know couples who are not happy with their marriage, but have not divorced due to concerns over children. My children were 9 and 21 at the time of divorce. So, eldest not a problem as they were at University. Youngest seemed to be okay and has done well at school.