Divorce/spousal maintenance

[Kl2000]

Advice wanted or has anyone any similar experiences…. My husband and I separated when my daughter was 6 weeks old (our only child together). We are using solicitors to try and come to a financial arrangement. I own our house and put in £30k for the deposit, he put in £12k. He is claiming that his mental health is too bad to access his bank statements to enable full financial disclosure, but he’s well enough to instruct a solicitor, look after a baby and give other documents like tax returns etc. So to my solicitor and I see this is a bit of a red flag. I have continually asked him for financial disclosure as it’s normal divorce process and I have a tiny baby that I looking after (on statutory maternity leave) to the point where my parents are having to help me financially because he isn’t. He doesn’t want to give me any spousal maintenance and only wants ‘his £12k’ back. He also hasn’t made any CM payments. He’s made no effort to support his baby daughter at all or even see her. My argument (and my solicitors) is that I am totally financially vulnerable and I can’t work at the moment as the baby is so young. If it wasn’t for my parents, I would have defaulted on the mortgage and be using food banks. I don’t see the logic in, in theory, giving him money as let of the divorce, while I receive nothing at all and need money so badly. Has anyone had a similar experience?

Its really weird ghat he won't disclose.

Usually I would say its because they were hiding assets. But then he us being monumentally stupid insisting on his 12k back.

His need to try and control this, may be his downfall.

Arbitration might be your solution here.
Otherwise, you'll piss away your money on solicitors going back and forth while his form E remains undone.
Also, you need to know that you don't quite own your house- sorry to say. It is a joint asset, even if his name is not on the house or mortgage, he is entitled to half the equity. Be prepared to buy him out or sell-up and split the proceeds (according to the ratio the financial order sets out... this could be 50:50 or 60:40. It's unlikely to be other than those two ratios). I know this is hard to hear but it is a difficult fact that must be faced. But don't worry about that now. Don't hand over any money until the financial order is in place. It is really important that you focus on that.

Listen to The Smart Divorce podcast. It's Divorce 101 for anyone going through it.

Unless your ex is a high earner and you can prove it, don’t waste time trying for spousal. It is taken into account when claiming UC. One is likely to just offset the other. Child support does not offset benefits.

You will be moving back into the family home soon. Apply for Universal credit and child support. Work out whether you can afford the mortgage. Then sit tight. He can’t get the £12k until you settle the finances and you can’t do that until he discloses. He can’t force the sale of the home until he discloses.

Don’t for the love of god tell him this. Just get him out of the house. Once you are in possession get an occupation order to keep him out. You are sitting pretty until he complies.

I’m a teacher who went back to work when my baby was 17 weeks old. I’m sure you don’t want to-neither did I! It’s the only way you’re going to be assured of a monthly wage though. You won’t get any Spousal Maintenance awarded.

Your husband sounds like a twat and you’ll be lucky to get much out of him. I assume that because he did this with his 16 year old daughter, you were already well aware of what he was like, though?

@DenholmElliot
You are completely wrong. There’s been no disclosure of assets so how can she counteroffer.
Op please take care - there’s some very bad advice here