What a life

[drybird]

I'm about to turn 50, have two kids with autism and my marriage has hit the wall in spectacular fashion. I need to hold it together and take one step at a time. I didn't do this to us, he did. The lies, cheating and financial control have been absolutely awful. Tomorrow I call round, get some advice and get me and my children out of here. It's rented and he won't leave .. I want to go anyway. We will end up with very little, I will have to plaster on a smile for the children and say it's going to be OK. Handhold welcome, I'm scared.

I'm here and in a very very similar boat. I didn't want or expect this to be my life. I'm here if you need to cry/scream/vent/chat sending hugs

Oh @drybird I'm so sorry to hear. One day at a time, bigger picture etc etc. Have you got anyone there in RL to support you?

@clpsmum thanks that's kind of you. Hope your situation improves to x

@indiesearcher

Oh *@drybird* I'm so sorry to hear. One day at a time, bigger picture etc etc. Have you got anyone there in RL to support you?

Ironically the MIL has been great person to talk to and her own husband did a similar number on her.. but I don't trust her - given what's happened I trust no one but myself these days but she be good with honest advice. Friends are far a few between he's made sure I have no real close friends. 😕 I also kept his double life / affair (s) quite because I was so ashamed so inwardly I'm broken.

Hi drybird. I just wanted to say good luck.

When I left my family home for similar reasons over 3 years a go my only option was private rent as the council had nothing for single working dads.

Contact the council in the morning and explain your situation but please don't make yourself homeless.

All the best for tomorrow and the coming weeks and months.

I understand you're scared right now. And broken.

Please hear this bit is really hard, but you can do it. I promise that it does get better and you will find you again. You've got a whole load of life in you still to live.

Big hugs. And good luck.

@Jumpking @Yellowshirt thank you both for your kind words. Woken up feeling full of determination. I'll be making enquiries today and intend to keep my head firmly out of the sand!

Good luck today. You can do this. I'll be thinking of you and hoping you get some help and support x

Just back to update you.. I spoke to an amazing lady today through lots of tears and she was so kind. Two options on the table, try to mediate with Husband to raise the funds and be a guarantor so me and the kids and move without too much disruption or go back to the kind lady who with action a certain plan for temp accommodation - which could be anywhere and involve taking the kids out of school. So tonight I'm going to have that conversation if it doesn't go well I'm pushing on with plan B. Not ideal but I'm not giving in and I want us away from this vicious circle of lies and deceit

@drybird . I would go for option B. As long as your asking your Ex for help he will be having some control of you and enjoying it.

I wish I had cut ties with my Ex wife earlier. She loved the control she still had over me and tried to use it to destroy me.