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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Someone tell me about the light at the end of the tunnel

2 replies

Bransle · 27/02/2022 00:07

Stbx has filed for divorce. We’ve been struggling for a very long time, since I started learning the meaning of words such as gaslighting, coercion and understood that silent treatment could actually be abusive. He’s said he won’t do mediation. We aren’t talking, the atmosphere at home (2 kids) is awful, stressful and not healthy for the children. He’s absolved himself from any responsibility for sorting it out and left it to me.

But it is SO expensive :(

I’m looking at about 3k solicitors fees for the divorce. 2.6k mortgage redemption fee. 5k for 50% of the estate agents fees,15k stamp duty on a 3 bed semi (we live the south east, it’s very expensive and I can’t move away from sen child’s school) 2.5k conveyancing+removals. Then, as I go around doing things I realise I’m going to need to buy things like the kids beds, sofas, washing line, duvet covers, wardrobes…

All of this, just to have a house with the max mortgage I can afford and scraping by to pay the bills, as stbx has the career, not me.

This aside, the timescales are so long - I can’t see it can possibly be any shorter than 6 months to sell a family home and move to 2 smaller properties. But the atmosphere is intolerable at home - no communication for about 70% of the time and angry recriminations that I’ve been plotting all along to take all his money for the rest of the time. And 2 kids in the middle of it all :(

Bloody hell, I wish I never got married in the first place :(

Someone tell me about the light at the end of the tunnel.

OP posts:
DenholmElliot · 27/02/2022 12:16

How old are the children?

One way of keeping the cost down is to represent yourself. Make the assumption that he is going to refuse any offer you make and just go straight for a court hearing with Form E's being presented beforehand.

Itsybitsydooda · 01/03/2022 23:30

OP, based on the info in your post I would think that you will be entitled to more than 50% of the assets. Also are you sure some of the figures you give are correct? 5k for half the estate agents fees sounds insane. We are paying something like £500 to list our house and then it will be around 1-1.5k for the solicitors.

I assume you are both living seperately now. If so put in a claim for maintenance via CMS and get them to collect it as it sounds like he won't pay it otherwise. Also put a universal credit claim in.

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