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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Can stbxh start a divorce without the marriage cert?

21 replies

Threecrookedhearts · 26/02/2022 13:48

I'm sorry another question from me. Stbxh came round today to talk finances. I know he does have a solicitor (I don't) and I asked for his address (moved in with ow) so I could serve divorce papers. I'm not really in a hurry to do this but he just seemed like he was. So he said I'm not having ow address and so I said so how will I serve divorce papers? and he said his solicitor will send them to me. I told him there's no way he's divorcing me no way! So now I'm sat here trying to file online for divorce but I don't have my marriage cert. I'm currently applying for a european passport through parents and I had to send the marriage cert off. It won't be back for a couple of months. Can his solicitor still file for divorce for him even though he doesn't have the marriage certificate?

OP posts:
Doanythingforlove · 26/02/2022 13:49

He can apply for a copy.

LacasadeBernadaAlba · 26/02/2022 13:49

Get a copy done?

FennecShandDoesEverything · 26/02/2022 13:50

Does it matter who initiates the divorce as long as you are just as divorced at the end? Don't make your life harder for the sake of petty point-scoring.

Either of you can order another copy of your marriage certificate online.

Thoosa · 26/02/2022 13:50

I’m pretty sure you have to have it to file. Only did mine a couple of months ago but only 90% sure. Have a bump, anyway.

In any case, ordering a duplicate is cheap and quite fast.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 26/02/2022 13:50

Well if he is living with ow surely you divorce him for adultery?

Potplant · 26/02/2022 14:00

You need the marriage certificate, but you can apply for a copy and it Takes a week or so to arrive.

Does it matter who divorces who? The end result is the same, try not to wind yourself up about it.

Original poster
Threecrookedhearts · 26/02/2022 14:16

I'd rather divorce him after he's left me after 23 years for a woman he'd met 2 weeks before. I think I'd rather be in control of this whole process and tbh him divorcing me for unreasonable behaviour after what he's done would be too much. I have applied for a replacement but it's not arrived yet. That was just over a week ago. I doubt he's applied for a replacement so I just wanted to check that he would not be able to file on Monday through his solicitor without the cert.

OP posts:
millymolls · 26/02/2022 14:35

Well you may not be in a rush but he can get a copy easily and duke against you

Whether adultery / Ub / no fault makes no difference to financial matters so I wouldn’t get Overly focussed on that bit

girlmom21 · 26/02/2022 14:39

You both have to sign to agree to the divorce. It doesn't matter who files.

HappyToSmile · 26/02/2022 14:44

Let him divorce you!! You will have far harder things to argue over later!!He can then pay for the nisi and the marriage certificate. Once it is filed, no one cares who divorced who. When you don't agree with the reasons he puts to divorce you, you simply say you don't agree but will sign it.
And get a solicitor.

JudgeRindersMinder · 26/02/2022 14:47

Save yourself the hassle and let him do it and pay for it- the least he owes you

GeneLovesJezebel · 26/02/2022 14:50

If you wait until April it won’t have to be anyone’s fault.

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 26/02/2022 15:10

You don't have to agree to it - certainly not until you have satisfied yourself over the financial settlement.

I told my Ex he could bloody well wait until we had the house situation nailed down tight (i.e. in my name) and he had admitted adultery on the papers. Otherwise he would wait years. I wasn't bothered about the divorce per se but he was, so I took my time to get it right - our DC needed a secure home - and the adultery admission stuff was really a point of principle I suppose. He caved.

Buy money and security matter most.

KindlyKanga · 26/02/2022 15:13

It really doesn't matter. I know it feels like it does but he's saving you the hassle.

eunace · 28/02/2022 10:28

Do you have a copy of the certificate? If you are doing an online petition, you only need to take a photo of the certificate, so a copy would probably be fine for that.

AchillesPoirot · 28/02/2022 10:29

Surely he will just get a copy? It’s only a few quid.

Let him file - he may as well pay for it

winniemum · 28/02/2022 11:01

I had to apply for a copy.
I got it the next day (less than 24 hours later) . I told them it was urgent and I went to the town hall to pick it up.

winniemum · 28/02/2022 11:04

The person who files decides who will pay. If he files he can ask OP to pay for the divorce.

CornishGem1975 · 28/02/2022 11:04

Either of you can order a copy to file the divorce. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter who files. It makes no difference to the outcome but I understand the need to feel in control.

Maze76 · 28/02/2022 22:41

I filed and paid for it out of the joint account. PP are correct, materially it makes very little difference other than to some degree, you control the pace of the process.

Bouledeneige · 28/02/2022 23:01

You do need to get some advice. It's a no blame divorce system and it makes no difference who files.

Focus on the important stuff - the financial settlement, splitting of assets, where you will live and how you will support yourself.

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