House in my name but includes joint money for deposit

[Beachlovingirl]

I really want to divorce my husband.

We very recently bought a new house. The mortgage is in my name and the deeds because h has a massive debt repayment plan to pay off gambling debts.

We came out with some equity to fix up the house and I can easily give him his 50% of that.

What else do I need to give him? He signed a document saying he has no claim on the deposit money put into the new house but I would rather know if he can come after me for this?

If he could, how soon would I need to get the money together?

Is it easier to just stay together :-(

Is he a Stay at home parent?

Yes he lives here @KindlyKanga and works full time, as do I.

I think its best to take all the paperwork you have to a solicitor (not one in your local town in case people you know see you) and then decide from there. It may be easier to stay together but once you're through the divorce it will be done whereas can you see yourself living with him forever?

Make sure you are fair to him and then it’s easy as it’s all in your name anyway.

Yes I think I need to do that too I was just hoping to avoid any costs so wondered if anyone had experience.

If I start divorce proceedings with him living here he will smash things up etc and probably take our daughter away. He’s the kind that likes to throw a lot of threats around. We’ve got to the point of talking separation before and he goes straight for “if we separate you’ll never see your daughter again”. Anyway I digress.

I’ve always paid all the mortgage in the old house that was in joint names, joint names on the deeds and in this new house I pay 100% of the mortgage. H does pay the council tax and the energy and the broadband. It amounts that I have always paid more in the joint outgoings because I’m financially responsible so I manage my money. H on the other hand has usually spent most of it in the first week he gets paid and I usually end up paying for the family things like food, outings, furniture, anything really.

H says when his plan is paid off he wants everything to go 50/50 so this will end up I’ll pay less per month but I am thinking I don’t want him to pay anything towards the mortgage If Im thinking of divorce.

Any steer on my best causes of action / strategy?

Yes @Sswhinesthebest I want to be totally fair. If I owe him the half of the deposit I’m sure I will be able to cover that but it will take me probably a year to save that money up.

One thing I’m wondering is would all those take time anyway so I have a year to save the cash or would I need to do something sooner than that - I can lend the whole amount off my parents but would rather avoid that if possible.

Speak to a solicitor. That’s the best way you can plan how to proceed.

Your H might have a claim to the value of the house after deposit and mortgage have been deducted.

I would speak to a solicitor and plan accordingly.

Also if he’s violent and threatens to kidnap your child you need a non molestation order and a prohibited steps order preventing him from removing your child from your care.

If you wait a year then he’ll be owed half of any increase in value as you are married. See a solicitor, agree half of any equity including the deposit so you get 50/50 and sort it out ASAP so it’s legally binding. You can get the solicitor to try to delay the time frame for paying him but the easiest way would be just to get it done and dusted.

@Sswhinesthebest yes I think you have the right idea. I’ve emailed the solicitor used to buy this house as she has all the documents already relating to the purchase etc.

Also h is pressing to get a new kitchen installed and I think I would be best stalling with that.

I’ve just had enough of his management of money and the ever existing threat that he’s gambling again. I think I’ve just had enough of living that life.

Yes, speak to a solicitor. It’s very empowering.
And tell her of his threats to take away your child etc.
Remember, if you ever feel frightened call the police.

His threats about dd is all bluster. Why would he get custody, especially if you can prove he has a gambling problem?

H is a proven very good liar. He kept his gambling and loans hidden for a long time - we have never had joint accounts (thank god) but it will make anything you just to make sure I don’t get dd. And his mother has an unnatural obsession with dd too, referring to her as the daughter she never had, they will team up to think of something/anything.

I will go the legal route all the way and if I can get those court orders @frazzledasarock mentioned.

How can it have come to this, it’s so sad. I really really wanted to avoid this for dd as h may be a crap dad but she loves him.

Find a family law solicitor not your conveyance solicitor. A conveyance solicitor won’t be able to help you.

Thankfully they also have a family law division so they should be able to provide legal guidance even if it’s not the actual solicitor o did the house stuff.

The house is a marital asset. From other threads it seems its still a marital asset regardless of who pays the mortgage or who paid the deposit or whose name is on the deeds.

How long have you been married?

@overthethamesfromyou just over one year. Together unmarried for 10 years.