Do i need a solicitor?

[RhubardCrumble]

I can't afford it, but want to know if getting a solicitor is my only option.

I'm dad to 2 children. 1 child is with me 8 nights out of a fortnight, the other 6 nights out of a fortnight. The rest of the time with their mum. So 1 is with me just over half the time, 1 with me just less than half the time.

I think it would be better if they both spent an equal amount of time with each parent. Also, I pay child maintenance, which I don't think this is fair.

We go halves on everything like, phones, school trips, uniforms. Clothes are purchased independently for each home but we aren't precious about where the clothes end up.

I've asked if i can have the children on an absolute 50/50 split. Answer was no.

I asked if i could stop paying CM. The answer was no.

Am i being reasonable?
Would a solicitor be able to help?
What do you think my chances are of getting a true 50/50 split in terms of time with each parent and me nothing having to pay CM

Seems odd set up
To me it’s already 50:50 - how come you are assessed to pay cms?
What’s the logic to not move to same for each child ?

Great question!! What's the logic? I've asked that too!

As for the CMS. Their mum opened the case, declared herself as the main parent. Despite many phone calls to the CMS, they say its up to mum to close the case.

Rhubarb,

Some sound advice for you. Get yourself a solicitor, your ex is taking you for a mug. Especially when telling the CMS she is main carer.
Unfortunately, the CMS is a bit backwards and will only listen to women, especially sponging mothers.

CMS is calculated over how many nights you have each child, given the fact that you have 1 child 4 nights a week and the other 3 nights a week, takes you into the bracket of main carer, not her.

Now that she has opened the case with the CMS, it won't be closed or changed properly without a consent order from the courts.

You should be getting child benefit for the child you have most often. And claiming CMS for that child from your ex-. ... but I suspect some MP or legal intervention may be necessary.

Also depends on earnings. I earned 10x my husband so our financial court order/consent order says I pay a lot of their costs eg all school and university fees no matter which parent they are with and that would be similar for many high earners whether male or female including funding full time childcare costs for under 5s.

@RhubardCrumble

I can't afford it, but want to know if getting a solicitor is my only option.

I'm dad to 2 children. 1 child is with me 8 nights out of a fortnight, the other 6 nights out of a fortnight. The rest of the time with their mum. So 1 is with me just over half the time, 1 with me just less than half the time.

I think it would be better if they both spent an equal amount of time with each parent. Also, I pay child maintenance, which I don't think this is fair.

We go halves on everything like, phones, school trips, uniforms. Clothes are purchased independently for each home but we aren't precious about where the clothes end up.

I've asked if i can have the children on an absolute 50/50 split. Answer was no.

I asked if i could stop paying CM. The answer was no.

Am i being reasonable?
Would a solicitor be able to help?
What do you think my chances are of getting a true 50/50 split in terms of time with each parent and me nothing having to pay CM

Unfortunately the courts give female privilege.

Domt waste your time, just say "if im paying child support, im not taking the kids. Let her deal with them full time, she will be at you,, begging for your help"

As i understand it, if you earn substantially more than the mother, it is possible that you could be asked to contribute to your children's expenses even if you do have them 50:50. This is for the children's benefit.

Domt waste your time, just say "if im paying child support, im not taking the kids. Let her deal with them full time, she will be at you,, begging for your help

Crazy but some men might actually want to parent their kids.

Err thanks for advice, definitely do not want to stop seeing my children or see them any less! I had to fight to get the current arrangement!!

@DelphiniumBlue

As i understand it, if you earn substantially more than the mother, it is possible that you could be asked to contribute to your children's expenses even if you do have them 50:50. This is for the children's benefit.

Yeah I think this might be the case. She doesn't work. She did previously work part time.And even then I felt like I was funding her lifestyle of only choosing to work part time. But I didn't want the children to be in poverty while with her. Actually worked out to have about the same income as me but only having to work part time.

Now she's not working at all as she has a new partner and new baby, probably about 1 now. Again, am I funding her choice not to work? Feels like it

according to Alexa you are a tiny percentage below 50/50. you do not need to pay CM

@inheritancetrack

according to Alexa you are a tiny percentage below 50/50. you do not need to pay CM

@inheritancetrack

Lol, thank you!! I'll tell the CMS that Alexa said I don't need to pay

Unfortunately, the only way you will be able to stop paying CMS is with a court order and approval from the court for the following:

Equal parenting rights
50/50 shared perental responsibility.

CMS will not just take your word for it, especially when the Ex is saying things like she is main carer.

Even with a robust court order, you still may have to pay. Unless you end up with the children more than her, then she could owe you.

You could always request that child benefits are split 50/50 as well.