Divorce/Catholic Church

[anna114young]

My partner is divorced, he is not a catholic.
I am a catholic and never been married.

I understand we can't get married in the catholic church due to this however I have just found out the following and am struggling to make sense of it.

If I had been married before in a registry office/C of E church/mosque/temple etc. I COULD get married in the catholic church as they wouldn't recognise previous marriages as I am catholic.

So technically I could have been married multiple times but as long as it wasn't in a catholic church they wouldn't see them as valid so I would be allowed to marry in my family parish church.

I have been told by the priest that if I don't get married in the catholic church any marriage I have will not be considered as valid.

I'm not really left with any choice!

My brother got married at a c of e church, with catholic priest attending… sil is cCofE . But was a first marriage. Maybe marriage could be CofE but with blessings from RC priest?

Just pretend he was never married?
Or never married religiously?

As I understand it you’re right and there isn’t a way for you to marry in the Catholic Church or have the marriage recognised so long as your partners ex is alive.
The Catholic Church will recognise their marriage as valid, but will not recognise their divorce so in their eyes your partner is still married.
I think this scenario is more common then people realise, and I’m sure lots of priests would be happy for you to attend mass, take communion, but I don’t think there is a way to have a Catholic wedding or have a marriage officially recognised by the Catholic Church.

Does your partner even want to get married in a Catholic Church or are they undertaking this dance to keep you happy?

You could be married in the CofE and have it blessed, recognised by the Catholic Church - but this will not be possible with a partner who is already married in the eyes of the church.
If you were both never married you can get dispensation for a wedding in a different church and it can be recognised - we almost did this - but your problem is your partner is ‘married’ in the eyes of the Catholic Church

I’m sure Jesus would have l laughed at all these ridiculous and hard to navigate rules.

Is your partner's ex Catholic? I was previously married to a Catholic in a civil ceremony and when I came to marry my DH, (who is also Catholic and in a Catholic church) as my exh was Catholic but not married in Catholic church it was seen as invalid which meant we could have a Catholic ceremony.

My (Catholic) Dad and stepmum married in a Methodist church. My Dad was a widower and my stepmum is CofE. They got married in church, and they are married regardless of what the Catholic Church thinks.

I'm a lapsed Catholic because it's a horrible controlling religion. My parents married in 1966, my mum was Protestant. For them to marry she had to make all sorts of undertakings which she stuck to faithfully, including bringing any children up as Catholic and effectively banishing her own faith.

Please forgive me for being blunt but fuck all of it. Why on Earth are you letting any of this bother you? If you want to get married, get married. It doesn't matter where, it will still be entirely legal and that should be enough. I don't mean to be unkind but my entire family have been controlled by the Catholic Church and I can't be doing with it.

My daughter was in the exact same position. It was very upsetting for her at the time as she had wanted a Catholic Church wedding. Catholic family members were very surprised that this was the case as had not realised the rules around this situation. She eventually had a beautiful wedding in a church which catered for weddings of any faith abroad. PM if you would like more details.
She has continued going to Mass and her children have been baptised without any problems.

The Johnson wedding really shone a light on the insanity of canon law around divorced people marrying in the Catholic Church, and the handling of it did the Catholic Church in the U.K. no credit. Loads of Catholics wrote angry letters to cardinal Vincent Nichols and he didn’t even bother replying to any of them. I am usually a defender of Catholicism, but not this time. Nichols was a massive twat for allowing Johnson to have all the bells and whistles in Westminster Cathedral, and even more of a twat for refusing to engage with his own church over it when, predictably, people were furious.

I think you might be able to do a convalidation of your marriage, after it has taken place so that it is recognised by the Catholic Church. Might be worth exploring but take the point your current situation seems quite bonkers.