Introducing kids to new partner

[Allnewtome22]

Have name changed - I have been separated over 2.5 years and am now seeing someone seriously. It’s long distance and up to now has been kept very separate from my kids although they know I’m seeing someone.
I’m now starting to think about making introductions. I have a couple of reasons, the most important people in my life haven’t met yet and it makes it all the more of a ‘big thing’ in my eyes.
Also my siblings have met him and I really don’t want my kids to know their aunts/ uncles have met this person and they haven’t.
We do not have plans to merge lives and move in together and it is unlikely that the kids will see much of him in the immediate future but I still think taking the mystery out of it would be a good thing. My bf is happy to play it however I want to and there is no pressure from him at all but he is equally happy to meet kids if they want to.

I was thinking over Easter holidays to meet in some informal way, but how is a good way to do it? Kids are teen/ preteen so I was thinking maybe out for food or bowling so he can join us or would it be better to be at home where they can float in and say hello and chat or not however they feel at the time. This is all on the assumption that they will be happy to meet him of course.
Any tips on what worked for you would be great :)

It's a tough one. You will get people suggestion over a year of dating before the kids are involved etc.

You have to do what's comfortable for you. Could he come and say hi when you go out on a date? To take the mystery away.

My kids are 15/10. The eldest can't wait for me to meet someone new. The youngest really doesn't like the idea at all. So I keep my dating away from home. Although saying that the past few dates have fizzled out after 3/4 months so not got to a point of introductions

Hi there, I did this too soon in my last relationship, he came to mine, kids saw us having v small kiss znd it freaked them out. Hence they hated the idea of us together and it was wrought with issues. So no to introductions too soon. .. no to it being in your home.
Roll on a year....I've a new man, taking it slow. If things progress, I would suggest meeting outside the house like bowling, or a coffee one weekend where he arrives, and leaves. So they get used, slowly. Maybe 3 months in? If he is serious he will agree. It's tricky!

How long have you been seeing each other?

If I do it at Easter we will have been seeing each other 10 months so quite a while of just us. I would not do it while he is staying for the weekend- maybe he could call for a coffee and say hello but I’m veering towards him joining us for an hour in the course of a day out so no big intensity.

I’m having doubts still about how they will react so will probably leave it until the summer holidays when we are together a year - but maybe mention him a little more and talk about things we do to get them used to the idea of us being together.

It is complicated by the fact that ex is not happy so they will be very loyal (understandably) to him and might not want to meet my BF at all in case they hurt their dad. I will take it oh so slow I think.

Thanks for your posts :)