Settlement

[NorthGirlie]

Hi,

I filed for divorce at the end of 2020 due to being unhappy in a long, sexless/loveless, marriage.
It is still dragging on. I think his solicitor seems better than mine tbh and is trying every trick in the book.
Basically, I earned the most throughout our marriage and am now, being in management, in a very stressful role (that I’d like to leave) whereas he didn’t do anything to progress and is still on the same pay scale as he was in his twenties! I also worked on-call on top of my full time job to being in extra money for years.
Basically, there is a ten year age gap - he is older. We both inherited money from our parents (he got more) and all money from that went into the mortgage on the 4 bed detached family home which was cleared a few years ago.
I am still in the family home. He inherited his parents property after the date I’d put down as separation date when I filed for divorce - he has moved into it but spent £50k doing it up (now paying back a loan on it).
I worked 11 years part time raising the children and lost earnings and pension whereas he paid AVC’s into his pension and has a nice hefty sum built up. Even the solicitor said it was a ‘hefty’ pension.
He has offered 50% of the family home sale proceeds as a settlement as long as the pension remains untouched. I have the youngest child 100% of the time. The eldest is almost 18 and splits his time between us. The child benefit is split between both parents for the eldest although will stop soon as he’s almost 18. He will most likely be going to uni in September.
If we both get 50% of the house I will end up needing a mortgage which will take up a big chunk of my salary (I want to leave this job and move back into my own field but can’t as I’d have to relocate with our youngest) and a poorer quality of life. Plus, on retirement, a lower pension. I am the bigger earner when working full time and I returned full time in 2015 after 10+ years raising the children part time. If he gets 50% of the family home he will be able to pay off his loan, live mortgage free in a done up property in a very nice part of town, have a nice pension when he retires.

I’ve told the solicitor I’m not happy with the offer. Did I do right and is his solicitor trying it on?

Anyone??

No I don’t think his offer is fair
I’d be looking at greater share of fmh based on what you’ve written and possibly some pension sharing, or 50:50 on everything which includes pension sharing

What’s happening with the home he’s currently living in?

You need to consider ALL assets which includes pensions to work out a fair settlement

Things that will be considered
Length of time with your reduced earnings/ pensions contributions whilst child raising while his pension contributions grew
Your ages and length to go before retirement - ie if he’s 10 years older he’ll have less time to make up and gap shared with you / yiu have 10 years more To fill your gap

You need to be looking at equalisation of both housing now and retirement

I think your solicitor is your best advisor. I think a lot of what you see as unfair won’t be considered relevant to how a judge will split the assets.

Why you ended up a bigger earner than him is mostly like going to be considered a decision made within the marriage. One that gives you more ability to get a mortgage than him at the time split.

Even if you did change field or job you would be assessed on earning potential. You realised the potential to earn more. What you decide to do outside the marriage isn’t a decision of the marriage. The consequences are probably going to be on you and won’t be seen as relevant.

Leaving aside pensions you don’t have much of an argument to get more than 50% of the equity in order to stay the 4 bed family home. Sounds like your housing needs will be low when you get to court as you will just have one resident child. An 18 + year old at university won’t count towards your needs. If 50% of the equity covers a two bed place then the issue of needing a big mortgage won’t be relevant.

The major leverage you have is around pensions. Without knowing more about the pensions it’s hard to tell how much leverage they would give you. But he would have to agree to any offer to reduce his equity share for a slice of his pension. It depends what he wants and why.

Indignation can be an expensive thing to pay a solicitor for.

I think it's always worth trying for a 'better' deal. Some solicitors are more capable and willing to do everything they can to reduce the settlement for their clients where substantial amounts are at stake to be shared out, that's their job so I should hope your solicitor would try to find ways to get you a better settlement.

However, one fact to be considered is that you have longer in employment due to being 10 years younger to contribute to your own pension but he is closer to retirement and therefore has less earning time (albeit on less than you).

You could ask for spousal maintenance anyway. The Judge will put the needs of your children first and that includes housing. No one wants any child to be worse off as a result of a divorce so no matter what your ex feels about his pension, the Judge has the power to award some of it and/or any other monies of the marriage such as give you a higher % of the house sale as he sees fit to provide for your children's needs and then the parents.

I think he's going to want to keep the 'hefty' pension so ask for it to be valued for division.

Bet you get to keep 80% of the house then

Yes, I may have ten years to add to my pension but I’ve still lost 10 years + through working part time and I can’t recoup that. I might get I’ll in the next ten years anyway.

Pensions have been valued. His is more than mine but he’s arguing that he acquired ten years of it before we married.

@NorthGirlie

Pensions have been valued. His is more than mine but he’s arguing that he acquired ten years of it before we married.

And you gave up 10+ years raising children at part time work. It definitely counts which ever way you look at it. The negotiation is hard OP. You have to think it through and expect your solicitor to give you all the info you need as well as advice on what could be a better settlement for you.

@NorthGirlie

Pensions have been valued. His is more than mine but he’s arguing that he acquired ten years of it before we married.

The pension acquired before your marriage wont be counted, he's correct there

He is going to come out if this a lot better off than I will and I’m the one who worked hard to provide a better standard of living for us all. Seems so unfair!

The pension he acquired pre marriage could be considered if it’s needed to reach an equitable outcome

You can try to bring in the pre marital pension and post marital inheritance but given the level of equity it is going to be difficult to swing.

Ask your lawyer to put them on the table and see if it gets you a bigger % of the house. But the counter point is always going to be that 50% of the equity will meet your housing needs. Which is likely to be defined as a smaller property for 2 People.

@NorthGirlie

He is going to come out if this a lot better off than I will and I’m the one who worked hard to provide a better standard of living for us all. Seems so unfair!

I would also consider the needs of your 18+ year old and younger child once they reach 18. I've heard of provision for maintenance during further education.

@Crumbs22

I've heard of provision for children in further education but if the payer has any sense then they insist it gets paid directly to the child.

[quote Unknown83]@Crumbs22

I've heard of provision for children in further education but if the payer has any sense then they insist it gets paid directly to the child.[/quote]
Of course, that may be a requirement anyway since the child would be of age by then and have a separate financial identity to their carer/parent.

If he wants to fund the child at university he can do that. He doesn’t need to have it written into a divorce settlement. If the OP wants it in then she needs to concede something. I don’t see why opening up this aspect is helpful.

The pension and the fact that he is housed is the OPs only leverage. He has signalled that he wants to protect the pension. That’s where she should push. But she won’t get much more than 50% because she has a larger salary and her housing needs are a two bed home from September.