Hand hold - help me get through this period of uncertainty

[Whiteminnowfish]

Dw wants said she us moving out and wants divorce. Not sure if she meant it as it was in the heat of her anger.

She said other hurtful things.

I am just struggling with the uncertainty.

I work part time, got support at work so don't feel it I'd the right time for me to look for another full time job. I will in the future but not when I am feeling like this.

Dd7 will probably stay with me.

Dreading the weekend. Tomorrow is our anniversary- married 15 years, together 25 years. I've spend a large sun of money to have a poem written for her on a beautiful scroll. It is about our lives together.

I am feeling so alone and don't know what to do.

P.s. I am also female

Hi, didn't want to read and run. Hope you are ok

@Whiteminnowfish just seen this OP, hand hold here. So sorry you're going through this. It's really painful and sad. My ex did the same with me last summer after 20 years together and it has hit me really hard. Try to take it day by day. Sending you

[quote zgirldreamsoftulum]@Whiteminnowfish just seen this OP, hand hold here. So sorry you're going through this. It's really painful and sad. My ex did the same with me last summer after 20 years together and it has hit me really hard. Try to take it day by day. Sending you [/quote]
So sorry to hear of your situation. Hope you are OK.

How did you cope/manage?

It's been very up and down to be honest and I still feel quite in the thick of it. Ive had to take some time out of working and I've been having regular counselling throughout to try to come to terms with it all and process the shock and hurt (in my case it turned out there was deceit which has been quite devastating to learn on top of the rejection and sadness at the ending of the relationship.). I'd say take it slowly, don't rush yourself to process how you feel or form conclusions about why it's happened - though it's natural to obsess about. Start by working out who in your life other than your wife you can confide in and who will support you. Don't be afraid to ask those people for support. Be wary of saying too much to other people who are not in your trusted group. Don't force yourself to rush any big decisions. Think about back up emotional support if you're feeling really sad- can you access counselling or even call the Samaritans if you're feeling really sad? Make sure you take care of yourself especially as you're likely to be in shock/upset for a while. Remember to eat even if you don't feel like it, drink water if you're crying lots, try to rest when you can. Do things that ground you like going for walks or listening to music. Please be gentle with yourself.

@zgirldreamsoftulum

It's been very up and down to be honest and I still feel quite in the thick of it. Ive had to take some time out of working and I've been having regular counselling throughout to try to come to terms with it all and process the shock and hurt (in my case it turned out there was deceit which has been quite devastating to learn on top of the rejection and sadness at the ending of the relationship.). I'd say take it slowly, don't rush yourself to process how you feel or form conclusions about why it's happened - though it's natural to obsess about. Start by working out who in your life other than your wife you can confide in and who will support you. Don't be afraid to ask those people for support. Be wary of saying too much to other people who are not in your trusted group. Don't force yourself to rush any big decisions. Think about back up emotional support if you're feeling really sad- can you access counselling or even call the Samaritans if you're feeling really sad? Make sure you take care of yourself especially as you're likely to be in shock/upset for a while. Remember to eat even if you don't feel like it, drink water if you're crying lots, try to rest when you can. Do things that ground you like going for walks or listening to music. Please be gentle with yourself.

Thank you that is great advice. Have you also got children?

I've self referred myself for counselling to help me cope. You see, I suffer from codependency caused by sexual abuse and childhood trauma. So I have attachment issues. I know that this is an unhealthy relationship but I just fear us bring apart.

I know it sounds silly but I really do need the counselling to help me shift my negative thoughts.

The grounding idea is a brilliant suggestion will try that also x