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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

How soon could he force sale of house?

36 replies

HELPNEEDHELP12398765 · 10/02/2022 18:57

My husband and I separated last year. He moved out and I am in the former family home with the children. It is jointly owned (with a mortgage) , I am currently paying for the mortgage and all bills.

He is desperate to sell it as he wants to buy somewhere for himself. With the help of family I might be able to buy him out (dependant on the amount he wants for his share) but would struggle to get a mortgage in my own right for the rest as my income is a lot lower than his, so I doubt this will be an option. If I sell and rent somewhat big enough for myself and the children, within 4 years I will have no money left at rent is very expensive here and I would also need to live off the money from the house sale as I would lose the universal credits I currently get. I could try to move to a cheaper part of the country but I doubt he would allow me to move the children and I don't know if it would be best for the them right now.

I have stalled things at long as possible but he is adamant the house needs to be sold or I buy him out. He is apparently getting his solicitor to write to me to say this, to request all my financial info and to draw up a separation agreement. We haven't even discussed the split of equity yet although he is assuming a 50/50 split. Can he just force a sale of the house on his terms or can I wait a bit longer until I have had a chance to get more legal advise, speak to mortgage brokers again, look into shared ownership etc.?

In order to get a court to order the sale of the house, I'm assuming we would first need to begin the divorce process rather than the separation agreement he wants and how long would all this take.

I'm really scared, he will have no problem buying a small house with his share of the equity and a mortgage but the amount I can get a sole mortgage for is tiny. I would only be able to buy a 1, possibly 2 bed flat and I have 3 children.

OP posts:

millymolls · 10/02/2022 19:01

He can’t force a sale
But courts could
You need to move on with divorce and financial settlement and that will involve both parties to provide full financial disclosure
The settlement may not be 50:50

jellybeans · 10/02/2022 22:11

Do either of you have pensions

Original poster

HELPNEEDHELP12398765 · 10/02/2022 23:37

We do both have pensions. I paid in for 4 years before going part time for a couple more years, then had a career break so mine won't be worth much. He was always tight with money and claimed he couldn't afford to pay more than £100 a month into one. He had had a good company one for the part 10 years or so. I doubt it is worth huge amounts but probably a bit more than mine.

OP posts:

millymolls · 11/02/2022 07:10

I can understand your concerns but it’s unsurprising that he wants to move on and that means solving the housing ( which doesn’t necessarily mean selling or him getting what he wants)
You are going to have to face up to this so it’s best to take control and start working with. Solicitor to guide you through it

How much equity is there?
How old are your children ?

gonnabeok · 11/02/2022 08:00

You can see if you can be granted a meschers order which would let you stay in the house until the youngest reaches 18 at which time you could sell and then he could have a share.

I'm current forcing the sale of my home as my ex keeps refusing offers out of spite and I want to move.Be aware that the courts are so backlogged at the moment, even if he did that I doubt anything would be considered for some time.

I put a claim in in September 2020, the first hearing is in May, so you will have time to get some legal advice etc. Dont let him frighten you into agreeing anything.get proper legal advice. It will take some time for him to force a sale, that's if the Court agree it even.

GeneLovesJezebel · 11/02/2022 08:02

Have you spoken to a solicitor ?
I’d hope you’ll get more than 50% of the house if your kids are young.

Tippexy · 11/02/2022 08:06

The courts will be very unlikely to force a sale given that children are living in the house.

Doubleraspberry · 11/02/2022 08:13

You need some proper legal advice.

You’ll be advised to look at mediation before court but this doesn’t mean not engaging a solicitor and totally understanding what a court is likely to consider reasonable.

The primary interest of the court is your children, and finding the financial arrangement that best allows you both to house them appropriately. Do they live with you the majority of the time? If so, a big enough house for you and enabling your ex to buy somewhere that reasonably accommodates them for shorter stays might be considered best.

The financial arrangements need to include all equity, including pensions. Earning potential as well as actual earnings, eg is one of you working part time and could go full time?

It’s highly unlikely you will be forced to sell your house without a clear and acceptable plan to house the children. Please talk to a solicitor to get an idea of the options.

Original poster

HELPNEEDHELP12398765 · 11/02/2022 08:35

Thank you for all your replies. In answer to the questions:

There is around £180k equity in the house
Children are 4, 9 and 12.
They live with me full time at the moment. I have always been their primary carer, he has done very little with them over the years.
At the moment I'm working part time and hoefully later in the year I would be able to increase my hours at work. I don't think I could go full time as child care costs are so high and my universal credit would decrease so it would make very little difference to my overall money each month.

I am going to look into mediation, I have had a mediated recommended to me. I had some advice from a solicitor a while ago when we first separated but I really can't afford to spend any money right now on legal advice as I have very little spare money each month.

OP posts:

Adica · 11/02/2022 08:44

Could you rent a room out to ease things?

vivainsomnia · 11/02/2022 08:50

I don't think I could go full time as child care costs are so high and my universal credit would decrease so it would make very little difference to my overall money each month
Indeed, but if it i creasing your borrowing capacity which mean you could get a mortgage and buy him out, surely it's the right move.

Planetzero · 11/02/2022 08:58

With that much equity in the house I would have thought you would be advised to sell up and split the equity in a clean break divorce. Get legal advice for your particular situation though as there are many variables.

The court ordered my house to be sold and I had two small children so don’t rely on people telling you you can stay in the house until the dc are 18.

FunnyGoingsOn · 11/02/2022 08:59

Doubleraspberry · 11/02/2022 10:02

@Planetzero

The court ordered my house to be sold and I had two small children so don’t rely on people telling you you can stay in the house until the dc are 18.

It's not necessarily a question of staying in the house under a Mesher Order. But the court wouldn't order the house to be sold if it meant the children couldn't then be housed properly. That amount of equity is significant or not depending on where the OP lives! It wouldn't go far where I am.

@HELPNEEDHELP12398765 you will be able to pay your legal costs from any financial award you get, and it's really worth making that investment in these situations. Especially if your ex has a solicitor.

Court will look at your respective incomes (and yes, there may well be an expectation that you could work full time to increase your mortgage potential). Have you filled in a Form E ever? Have a look online - it's a way of capturing all your outgoings, and helps to establish what your disposable income is, and what you need, and would be a way to capture your childcare costs. You'd also need to find evidence of the costs of houses that would meet the needs of your children.

In your situation, based on what you're saying, it's highly likely you would be awarded the greater part of the equity in the house. But that's based on a very basic understanding from the internet. 50/50%, when one partner is both the lower earner AND the main career for children, is very, very unlikely and please don't listen to anyone who suggests it's fair or the easier thing to do without having had sound legal advice.

CrunchTime22 · 11/02/2022 10:15

OP, you cannot afford NOT to get done legal advice. Just find a local family law firm and book an hour with them and you should come away with a much clearer idea of what you are likely to get.
First step - start divorce proceedings. You can do that online. You cannot get an agreement which is binding (a consent order) without applying for divorce.
Next step - mediation. The mediator willl want to know how much is iin both pension pots and how you will house yourself and your children.

Stay strong!

LemonTT · 11/02/2022 14:24

@Doubleraspberry

Given there is considerable equity why would the OP not be able to find a home if the house is sold? She might prefer not to rent but that’s not a need.

Doubleraspberry · 11/02/2022 14:30

[quote LemonTT]@Doubleraspberry

Given there is considerable equity why would the OP not be able to find a home if the house is sold? She might prefer not to rent but that’s not a need.[/quote]
Because 180K might not be considerable equity (to be shared between two people) where she lives? It wouldn't be where I live, to find a home for three children.

The law prefers that children be as little disadvantaged as possible. Renting offers a lot less stability than owning, so if there is a financial solution that enables the parent to buy, that would be the preferred outcome. Taking equity from home ownership to spend on rent is the least favourable outcome.

Danikm151 · 11/02/2022 15:00

Don't forget UC can help towards the cost of childcare. So don't let that be a barrier to increasing your hours. It's up to 85%

Unknown83 · 11/02/2022 15:18

@Tippexy

The courts will be very unlikely to force a sale given that children are living in the house.

This is very bad advice. When couples with children divorce BOTH, not just the weaker financial party but BOTH need to be able to adequately house the children.

If a Mesher Order prevented that from happening then the only time a court is likely to still consider it a solution is when it is impossible for both parents to adequately house themselves even if the house was sold.

The first thing you need to ask yourself is are you overhoused? If the answer is yes, then it is likely a court will order the house to be sold. There is precedent for a deferred charge to then exist on a smaller property but again that will only be if both parties can adequately house themselves.

Also, unless he earns megabucks (I'm talking a good six figure salary or more) then even if you do get a Mesher Order you need to prove you can afford the mortgage payments and maintenance of the property on your own until the trigger event.

Original poster

HELPNEEDHELP12398765 · 11/02/2022 16:47

Thanks all. I will definitely get some more legal advice once I can afford it after pay day. I hadn't filed for divorce yet as I was planning to wait for no blame divorce to come in in April.

I can afford the mortgage payments as they are at moment (they are fixed for another 3 years) and basic maintenance as I am paying for everything at the moment (he pays me child maintenance and I pay the mortgage, all household bills, everything for the children, childcare etc.

If the equity is halved that wouldn't even buy a 1 bed flat where I am as prices were high here anyway but have rocketed over the last two years. He can currently afford to rent a small house or will be able to get a mortgage to buy a small house once the family home is sold.

I'm not over housed, we have no spare bedroom. The kids could share as a last resort but i tried that before and it was awful. Constant arguing as the kids had no personal space.

Unknown83, in terms of both parties being able to adequately house the children, surely what is deemed adequate depends on where the children will be spending most of their time?

OP posts:

millymolls · 11/02/2022 17:37

Over housed doesn’t just mean bedroom count. Eg where I live a 4 bed detached could be anything from 700k to millions.

Anyway, seek legal advice and they’ll be able to guide you through what options and possible outcomes could be - but there will likely be an expectation that you seem To maximise your earnings too

Doubleraspberry · 11/02/2022 18:04

@millymolls

Over housed doesn’t just mean bedroom count. Eg where I live a 4 bed detached could be anything from 700k to millions.

Anyway, seek legal advice and they’ll be able to guide you through what options and possible outcomes could be - but there will likely be an expectation that you seem To maximise your earnings too

If you go to court, you'd be expected to put together a bid for the money you wanted, which needs to be evidenced. So you'd produce some house particulars to back up how much you need - eg:

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119518142#/?channel=RES_BUY

And your ex will do the same, and he will do his own research, and suggest that your needs could be met with this instead, with less money required:

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/83622744#/?channel=RES_BUY

So it makes sense to be really realistic about what you need and what it will cost, and how much more income you can generate to mortgage for more.

Unfortunately it's really hard to divorce and maintain the same standard of living all round unless you are really wealthy.

For your ex, the fact that he has the children less would weigh in, but the children will still need acceptable accommodation, eg share a room rather than one each - suggesting they could just sleep on airbeds and he only needs one bedroom wouldn't be looked on favourably.

The whole purpose of any court ruling, and therefore what a mediator will guide you towards, is to make a financial arrangement that will be in the best interests of your children. That's what the law requires.

millymolls · 11/02/2022 20:45

My point was if you are in a 4 bed and need a 4 bed if that’s a million pound 4 bed whereas you could house yourself in a 500k 4 bed then you would likely be expected to downsize not be awarded a mesher
Hence people need to be realistic about needs vs wants

thenewduchessoflapland · 11/02/2022 20:48

So he's not actually contributing to the mortgage at the moment?

Tbh you could get a 70/30 in your favour but his solicitor will be trying to get him a 50/50 split and is hoping you'll just roll over and agree.

Original poster

HELPNEEDHELP12398765 · 11/02/2022 20:55

@thenewduchessoflapland

So he's not actually contributing to the mortgage at the moment?

Tbh you could get a 70/30 in your favour but his solicitor will be trying to get him a 50/50 split and is hoping you'll just roll over and agree.

No he isn't contributing towards it at all. He did for a month or two then reduced what he was giving me. He now pays what cms calculator says he should be paying me based on his income, although he still sees this as paying towards the house.

OP posts:

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