Think I am going to be left with nothing

[Whiteminnowfish]

Sdxw said she wants divorce, taken ALL of our 10.5k savings out of our joint account and said she is going to move out to one of her rented properties.

We've been together 26 years.

I am female not a guy.

This is all due to us having different parenting styles and she has undermined me infront of dd for years. Past 2 years she has been unbearable and I've been walking on egg shells. Always kept my mouth shut to keep the peace.

Yesterday she shouted and shouted at me and assaulted me because I wouldn't listen to (her shouting) at me. She grabbed me by the neck and shoved me.

I am jus feeling so angry at the moment. All I can think of is poor dd7 who heard her shouting at me. Luckily she didn't see her grab me ad shove me.

Wish she would just leave ASAP as can't stand being near her.

I am SO shocked she has treated me like this . She said she will divorce me and 'sell the house from under my feet'.

I work PT as it was agreed years ago I would be the home maker. I don't have a penny to instruct a solicitor on my part.

Would I be able to claim UC while she is stoll living here. We're sleeping in seperate beds. I won't be doing any of her laundry or cooking anymore.

Has anyone been left high and dry?

She is behaving like a bully towards me taking all of that money. When I walked into the bedroom with dd she hid under the quilt.

I just don't want to play any games as I've had enough. But I can only feel anger brewing with the way she has been treating me and continuing to treat me.

I'm so sorry you were assaulted; you should report this to the police.

I'm not in the UK so not an expert on the legal system there but if you are married, I do not believe you will be left with nothing. Whatever your wife may be threatening, 50/50 is a starting point for division of assets and if you are the primary parent you can probably expect a split in your favour. So just ignore what she is saying and seek legal advice of your own.

My understanding is also that legal fees can come out of the settlement so you will not necessarily need to pay much up front. At the very least a lawyer will be able to give you some initial advice on how you could structure payments. You may be entitled to legal aid if your wife has taken all cash assets, which I should mention will not go in her favour in a split.

What is your marital situation? Partnership or married?
I can't imagine being able to claim UC while you're still living together.
It's really shit for you and DD. Why do you think your DP is behaving this way?

I'd get her to move out to the rental property asap and then start your UC claim. You can in theory do it living in the same house, but it will be more stressful. I'd grab the bull by the horns and start divorce proceedings, some solicitors give you a free half hour consultation.

As @CheekyHobson said you should report the assault. The hiding joint assets, verbal and physical abuse are all incidents of domestic violence. Please get yourself some support.

You won’t be left high and dry
Are you on the deeds and mortgage ( if there us one)? Register home rights if you need to
The 10.5k will be considered
Speak to a solicitor and see about a plan that allows payment to be made from settlement?
I know it sounds easy to say but you need to start standing up for yourself
You can claim uc now
Can you look to go back to work full time?

As lower earner and primary cater you’ll likely end up with higher share of assets - do you know what they are, marital home, rentals, pensions? Gather that up

Educate yourself - there us loads of information about divorce process and settlements online - many women represent themselves if necessary now is the time to take back some control

You have suffered domestic abuse. Report it please. Stop doing wife work for her. Start planning so you and your daughter can have a new life, free from this abuse. Get your ducks in a row. Get copies of bank statements (including details of her withdrawing all the money from your joint account), pension details etc. Be as sneaky as you have to in doing this. If you aren't on the deeds of the property you are still entitled to a portion of it as you are married. You can register home rights. You will be entitled to a fair split in any divorce, that may well be in your favour as you are taking the responsibility for caring for your child. Speak to a solicitor, they may take fees from the settlement. And I believe that Legal Aid may be given when divorcing in cases where domestic abuse has occurred. Do not let your abusive wife continue to wreck your life. You are worth far more than this.

@millymolls

You won’t be left high and dry Are you on the deeds and mortgage ( if there us one)? Register home rights if you need to The 10.5k will be considered Speak to a solicitor and see about a plan that allows payment to be made from settlement? I know it sounds easy to say but you need to start standing up for yourself You can claim uc now Can you look to go back to work full time?

As lower earner and primary cater you’ll likely end up with higher share of assets - do you know what they are, marital home, rentals, pensions? Gather that up

Educate yourself - there us loads of information about divorce process and settlements online - many women represent themselves if necessary now is the time to take back some control

I am wanting to go back to work full time but at the moment with everyone going on I don't feel strong enough. I have a good support network at work. Supportive colleagues and boss. So don't feel that the time is right for me now.

Marital home is on both names and is both properties. Properties are in negative equity as only paying interest only.

Is there any chance that you could keep the marital hame and she keeps the rental property seeing as shes chosen to move there anyway? The 10.5k would still need looking at depending on circumstances of the split.

Yes you can definitely claim uc whilst living together if not living as a couple. Sounds like a good first step and you’ll have a bit of money for proper legal advice. Sorry for what you’re going through x