Questions for newly shocked person

[Dreamer1989]

Two things really -

1. when in the process do I list the house? We are waiting for a no fault divorce in April. I know that comes with 6 month cooling off period, so I am in no rush, but then I am still looking for other places.
2. If we can agree a split of everything, does this make it cheaper, ie we dont have to go to mediation. We just give both solicitors a list of what we want, house is 50/50%. Do we HAVE to go to mediation if everything is agreed amicably?

List the house as in sell it

You don’t have to go to mediation. It’s helpful to avoid court but great if you can do without. H bought me out of our marital home pre divorce. So selling doesn’t have to be linked to divorce but home ownership and savings will be considered in your divorce settlement

Avoid mediation and solicitors if you don’t need them
Go onto the government website for divorce. This is a very simple site where you can submit your petition on line and keep costs down. It talks you through whole process
It explains the financial disclosure part , the D81 form, that includes property, savings, pensions, income, debt. Your house will be listed on this.
If you have reached an agreement on the financial split, draft it out. Get 1 solicitor to take that draft and draw up a “consent order”. The solicitor submits that into the divorce petition on line for £53 ish. But the solicitor will charge for their work on consent order- so the more you detail out what you’ve agreed the better in terms of keeping costs down. You’ll need to give solicitor a copy of the D81 and both your signatures to say you have legally declared everything. If you’ve agreed a split that’s not a simple 50:50 you may need to give your solicitor an explanation why so they can add to D81 so the courts don’t get excited about it, and it’s then also worth paying for 1 hr of a different solicitors time to represent the other party so you can put this in consent order too that both of you have agreed the split and sought legal advice in doing so. Just makes sure it all runs smoothly.

I divorced last year, did it all on line. Had 2 hours of my solicitor and 1 hour of his for consent order piece. Cost us £600 for court fees ( this has just gone up £50 I think) and £1200 in solicitors fees. We split these costs even though I was petitioning him for unreasonable behaviour. I petitioned early April , decree final at end June. Very simple. Great Gov web site
Also look at the Mediate guides on do it yourself. They’re brilliant, and very good at signposting the parts you may want a solicitor for, and the parts you really must get solicitor for, and the parts that you can do yourself
Take the time now to both read up. Look as well at guidance on how a court would award a financial settlement - there’s a list of criteria. If your 50:50 intent doesn’t meet those criteria you may want to sit down again and check out what’s fair, or to at least identify your reasoning why you’ll stick to 50;50 when the consent order is legally drawn up by solicitor
Good luck

Thank you both, I will have a look at these sites. I feel less in shock atm, the anger and denial phase has taken over.

@Warblerinwinter could you link me to “ Mediate guides on do it yourself” please

This one is very good
www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/how-apply-financial-order-without-help-lawyer

By law society

www.mediateuk.co.uk/the-ultimate-guide-to-a-financial-consent-order/

It’s great if you can reach agreement but have you taken solicitors advice on what a fair settlement and split could look like? Do you know all assets and liabilities? Are their children
50:50 may be appropriate, equally it may not be

@millymolls Hi, no children, together 13 years, married for 5 years.
I own first £30k of equity as I brought it from previous house and we signed a declaration of trust so its legally mine. I have made a list of assets, planning to share this with him in future to start discussions about who gets what. I dont want pensions or savings taking into account, I dont know if thats possible, I have much better pension but he has savings.

You can agree to not touch each others pensions, but make sure you get it in the financial order. That's what me and stbxh are doing. Not sure he's realised mines pretty good from our 10 years together but I can argue that his earning power is a lot greater and Im not going for more of the house split even though I could probably get more than the 60% we agreed.

We have a deed of trust, signed saying I get the first £30k becuase that was my depotsit brought over from my last house. After that, I just want 50/50% split. He has indicated he doesnt want most of the assests ie furniture. Do I have to pay him for the stuff he doesnt want but I keep, ie beds, tv, sofas?

I shouldn't think you would have to pay him. My stbxh has stated he doesn't want any of the furniture from our marital home and I can keep it all. He's drafted it into our consent order. Although he did have the cheek to ask if I need the tumble dryer and if I use the mixer he gifted me one xmas.

as part of our consent order we agreed that he would keep most of the furniture as he currently abroad with the furniture!
We've agreed that he will pay me 1/4 of the value of what he keeps, worked out as 50/50 each less 50% as I will be having all new goods and he has used.

Everything is down to negotiation.

As someone stated above, you can do everything by agreement amongst yourselves, but one of you need to use a lawyer to draft the consent order and the other hire a lawyer t check off the consent order on your behalf - without that there is a chance it could be turned down by the court.

Good luck with everything.

We are definitely, well, I am definitely using a solicitor. Do I need him to write down what he wants/doednt want, to take to solicitor?

Bump

I don’t think so
Your solicitor will write to him with your proposal
If he agrees they can draft the order
If he disagrees he can counter
So you can outline to your solicitor what you believe has been agreed and they can draft that

Thank you :)