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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Any tips for finding a solicitor?

16 replies

BigGreyOwl · 03/02/2022 06:56

I am trying to be proactive and find a solicitor for going through a divorce. I will not be filing the petition unless he stops paying towards the mortgage. Should that happen I will consider filing.

My understanding of legal qualifications and the legal system isn’t brilliant so apologies if I offend or am incorrect. As far as I understand all solicitors will have a law degree and the law they will be applying to my case will be the same as that applied by any solicitor in the situation. How you know you have found a good one? I know their capabilities/competence will differ but how do you now you have good representation until you realise you don’t (if that makes sense)?

None of my friends have been divorced so I don’t have any personal recommendations and I have yet to hear of any friends of friends who are having/had satisfactory enough experiences to recommend their solicitor.

I have no idea where to start. I had made a list of some local firms and called one. They took information about me, him and the situation, said they would call me back in ten minutes and didn’t. That has made me even more anxious about finding one.

Anyone willing to share how the found their solicitor if it wasn’t through a recommendation?

OP posts:

Rainbowqueeen · 03/02/2022 07:07

Womens aid has a list but I think it’s aimed at women who are dealing with an abusive partner. Which means everyone on the list will be very experienced and knowledgeable. And they will act for anyone not just abused women.

I’d ask for the list.

Then see who you click with. It’s a good idea to write down all the basics and take it with you eg assets, liabilities, income,children, pensions etc. they need to know all that stuff so it will save time

mostlydrinkstea · 03/02/2022 07:53

You need a specialist in divorce and family law. My ex used a chain and my solicitor got cross with them as they seemed pretty clueless. I asked around friends and family and got someone very good. If there are any solicitors or paralegals or legal secretaries in your family they will know who is good in other areas even if they specialise elsewhere.

FinallyHere · 03/02/2022 07:56

I agree with @Rainbowqueeen that there are two parts to this, their chosen areas of expertise & experience, and how you get on with them.

Remember also that you are not looking for a friend or therapist who would let you talk endlessly. You really want someone who can get to the heart of the issues and get you the settlement which is right for you.

Good luck.

Unknown83 · 03/02/2022 11:01

@BigGreyOwl

You want to find a solicitor who is a member of Resolution. Resolution members adhere to a code that promotes a constructive approach to family issues and consider the needs of the whole family (i.e. you, your ex and your children).

In layman's speak, it probably means they are honest about best and worst case scenarios and try and pull you towards an amicable settlement that avoids racking up huge legal bills.

Strongerthanyouthink · 03/02/2022 11:22

I started by literally googling local family law solicitors and then had free 30 mins phone call with 3 of them. I chose the person who I liked the best in terms of sounded like she knew her stuff, was assertive without completely intimidating me and had good reviews. I didn't choose the most expensive or senior solicitor, even though my case ended up being complicated. She was really prompt to respond to any query, that was key for me, but she encouraged me to do lots of stuff myself to save costs. My ex husbands costs were huge compared to mine, in part because he chose a solicitor that was just so much more expensive, however I don't believe they were any better than mine. I trusted my solicitor implicitly.

Crumbs22 · 03/02/2022 11:30

I agree that they must specialise in Family Law and within that there are other things which show their experience and more specific qualifications that you need to check to see if relevant to your case. For example if there's custody of children involved or complex finances to deal with. Then I would ask if they offer the free 30 mins consultation and talk to each one to get a feel of how they are. The more experienced ones will charge more but hopefully it will be worth it.

Unknown83 · 03/02/2022 12:08

Some of the solicitors that will speak to you for free for 30 minutes might be good but tread carefully. I spoke to a couple and they would just parrot whatever I wanted to hear. One was so gung ho that they as good as called my STBXW a sponger (maybe she is, but that's my job!)

I've read more than a few threads on various forums where people were promised "everything" whose settlements have fallen far short of what their solicitor promised and who wished they'd just done mediation with the solicitor's role to check things were reasonable, written properly etc rather than fighting a protracted battle in court.

Crumbs22 · 03/02/2022 12:30

@Unknown83

Yes very true. I should add that some will offer a flat fee for 45 mins consultation which I've done, it wasn't the initial stage but it was excellent. She ploughed through a stack load of info I sent beforehand and I knew she'd read everything ready so hit the 45 mins running.

gracedentssketty · 03/02/2022 12:33

Depending how much cash you have try looking at the legal directories - chambers and partners uk and legal 500 uk - they will give recommended firms and individuals in your area - the top lot are likely to be ££££, but perhaps if you look at the smaller firms and younger "rising star" individuals you might find someone more reasonable who is very good

Original poster

BigGreyOwl · 05/02/2022 07:59

Thank you for your responses I do appreciate them and am taking them on board. Its rather difficult going at the moment hence my late return to the thread. I am glad I posted as your responses have been helpful and I have found some confidence in that I was looking for a family law/divorce specialist so maybe my baby steps to date haven’t been all bad.

@Rainbowqueeen thank you for suggesting the Womens Aid list. I will email them.

@mostlydrinkstea what was it about your solicitor that makes you say they were very good?

@Unknown83 thank you for mentioning Resolution. I had not heard of them but have looked them up and added another firm to my shortlist.

@Crumbs22 you mentioned other things that a solicitor might have that shows their relevant experience – please could you suggest something that I could look for?

OP posts:

mostlydrinkstea · 05/02/2022 09:15

My solicitor got me a better deal than I would have got on my own.

I asked around for recommendations. The firm I went with just does divorces. It is small but the solicitors have decades of experience. They have industry awards. In comparison my husband's firm did a bit of everything and although everyone is qualified, my solicitor ended up quoting bits of law and best practice at them when they got sloppy. Decades of experience in the courts shows.

When I went to see them for the first time they were really upfront about how much it would cost. It came in the range of five figure sum they had advised and I always knew that I could not afford to go to court.

My solicitor was not my therapist. They told me when I was asking for something unreasonable or unusual rather than let me run with it. They knew when things were taking time because they do and when to chase my now ex.

I would be much worse off financially if I had't gone with a specialist. Your situation may be straightforward. I thought mine was but it wasn't.

Good luck.

Crumbs22 · 05/02/2022 10:01

@BigGreyOwl I just lifted these sentences for various solicitors' profiles to show you how I combed through them initially:
'..has extensive experience of handling divorce, separation, domestic violence and abuse, marital finances, as well as dealing with the arrangements for children, including public law, child abduction and special guardianship cases."

'..is a member of the Law Society’s Advanced Family Law Panel, she is a Resolution Accredited Specialist in the categories of Children Law and Domestic Abuse and is a Law Society Accredited Mediator'

'A specialist in preparing pre-nuptial agreements, co-habitation disputes and financial settlements on divorce, he also has an interest in those cases involving significant and complex assets such as trusts and businesses, and high net-worth clients.'

'..his non-confrontational approach encourages clients to resolve disputes outside the court process, although he is also an able litigator where contested proceedings are required.'

Also it's important they get what you're trying to do and are on your side. I met one that was just so dry, he might have been great at his job but to me I felt he wasn't actually interested in helping me.

Crumbs22 · 05/02/2022 10:06

*The firm I went with just does divorces. It is small but the solicitors have decades of experience

I would be much worse off financially if I had't gone with a specialist. Your situation may be straightforward. I thought mine was but it wasn't.*

This. I think it's a good idea to be prepared to change solicitors as well because things can and do change.

Original poster

BigGreyOwl · 06/02/2022 07:27

@mostlydrinkstea and @Crumbs22

Thank you both for your posts. And for mentioning industry awards and the Law Panel. They are things I will look for.

I agree with a solicitor not being a therapist. In my field when I have needed professional input I have gone with people who I think are the most competent and I don’t know if it coincidence or not but they have never been the type you could see as acting as a therapist. It is easier to find a specialist in my area of work though as there are formal specialist lists. I can’t see that that is the same for solicitors (though apologies if I am wrong) so it does seem to be a case of looking for things like awards and are they on, for example, a member of Resolution and/or the Law Society’s Advanced Family Law Panel and taking an expensive chance.

Given the current situation my confidence is taking a battering and I am questioning my decision making skills.

OP posts:

Original poster

BigGreyOwl · 06/02/2022 08:02

Sorry another question...

Did anyone pick a remote solicitor? I mean a solicitor that was based too far from them to physically meet with.

I wondered if this would not be wise to do? I was thinking about it and think it might make going to court more difficult but wasn't sure about the practical impacts.

OP posts:

Movemeforward5 · 08/02/2022 22:44

I have not physically met my solicitor due to COVID restrictions, and it is going ok. I looked to change to another but in my area no one is taking new clients due to amount of current clients! You must get someone who is familiar with the court you will be going through ie. don’t get someone in London if you are based North. Settlements differ.

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