Divorce process

[treasure47]

Could someone just talk me through generally what the divorce process is and how long it takes for a couple with a joint mortgage and young child? I know every situation is different but I'd have no idea where to start! Does a solicitor or someone guide you through it? Thanks in advance!

I had absolutely no clue - separated last May. I rang a local family solicitor and they just talked me through what needed to happen and advised to not move out of the family home. We then had a bit of a time separated but still living together (dreadful) and the ex husband moved out. Solicitor talked through options and explained the ramifications of taking certain action. I have tried to keep contact with solicitor to a minimum as you are charged by the email! First meeting is free so ask as many questions as you can at that point and write down the answers! I'm almost divorced now - solicitor helped with paperwork but I actually just filed the decree nisi myself on the gov website to save money. There are parts you csnt really do yourself- you need a solicitor to do the financial stuff as they have to draft a legal document laying it all out (I think it is called the consent order.) I had no children related stuff (we have children but organising child support and time split across parents ourselves.) Good luck. It isn't easy but I am always glad I was brave and did it.

I should add my mortgage on my own took ages to be approved as I'm self employed and it was a pain! It actually STILL isn't sorted despite my first meeting with mortgage broker being in June. But I think I'm very unusual! Plus my husband was very obstructive. I am almost there - I have the mortgage approved but it is all with solicitors doing their thing now. I think I will own the house in the next month. This has taken a huge amount of drive and push from me to get this sorted.

You've got 3 things to sort out

1. End the marriage
2. Split your finances
3. Sort out who looks after kids and if child maintenance due or 50/50

It's normal to do all those things at the same time but you don't have to.
Wikivorce and the Government website are good places to start.

@Miniature8

I should add my mortgage on my own took ages to be approved as I'm self employed and it was a pain! It actually STILL isn't sorted despite my first meeting with mortgage broker being in June. But I think I'm very unusual! Plus my husband was very obstructive. I am almost there - I have the mortgage approved but it is all with solicitors doing their thing now. I think I will own the house in the next month. This has taken a huge amount of drive and push from me to get this sorted.

Well done you for doing what was right for you, it can't have been easy and sounds like it hasn't been smooth sailing but you're coming out the other side now. Did you and your ex have a mortgage? Did you sell the family home? I think that would be the best option for my situation as it's then a fresh start but I worry about what I'd be able to afford/options although I know it would all work out okay in the end. Thank you for your reply, really helpful 🙂

Mine is currently 8 months and counting. We went in with a 'we'll be amicable and split the costs' mindset but now it is starting to get messy as we discuss offers re the family home and finances. He has dragged things out unnecessarily, which has cost me more money in solicitors emails and I am stressed to the eyeballs.

Never understood why people celebrate when their decree absolute comes though but I'm slowly starting to get it!