When does feeling of familiarity stop when I see exDH?

[PicaK]

Everytime I see exDH it's like my body betrays me. I feel a whoomf of familiarity - like when he'd come home after a business trip. And then my brain kicks in and I realise that's all wrong. He's left. Its over.
Anyone else had this?
When will it stop?
I see him x2 on Mondays (DD goes for an hour) x1 Weds and x3 over the weekend.
It's best for the kids but def not for me. I feel blindsided sometimes.

I was/am like this. Though we haven’t seen each other for over a week.

I’m not sure when it stops. I think he had it too. He would eat food from my plate, drink my drink, help me with my coat and give me hugs.

I understand being blindsided. I guess it’s just a question of time. And setting boundaries that make you feel better or make things easier for you.

That probably doesn’t help. It’s all rather rubbish isn’t it.

Same here, and it’s very difficult to cope with - the connection between us is still very strong (after a 15 year marriage) and I’m not sure it’ll ever go, even though he was abusive which is why I left with the kids. If I didn’t have to see him then I think it would be easier but then it’d be a shock to bump into him in Tesco’s…I don’t know which would be worse ?

I sympathise.
It's like you know each other so well and have the children in common.
It is tough sometimes.

I don’t think it ever entirely stops: you shared a life and a bed with this person for years, they’re never going to be a stranger. But it changes. With time, and once you’ve had a few big life experiences and events that don’t involve him, and as you begin to think about meeting somebody new.

You can create initial boundaries to help it along the way, such as only discussion the DC through email or text rather than on the phone or lengthy conversations in person, not letting him in your house and so on. And in time you can also relax that, if you want to, and if it feels appropriate.