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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Divorce and finances

11 replies

jacwhit007 · 23/01/2022 17:32

i need to see if there is anybody in my boat. i'm divorcing my husband. i have 3 kids. we own a small company together which i am a B shareholder in (which means nothing to be honest) and i am a director.

he wants me out of the family home and to resign and give up my share and get a new job. i've not been on the career ladder for 20 years because i have dedicated everything to his (our) company. the company is classed as intangible asset as it's worthless without him but there is a value to the company.

he wants me to move three children and get a new career when all i have done is be a full time mum and worked for him.

meanwhile he's looking at a 3 bed penthouse to live in but he wants me to move the kids out and deal with all the stress that will bring and get a new job. i'm completely vulnerable. i have nothing. i have no pension yet he has had a private pension for 30 years.

i have colitis which stops me performing well and struggle to hold down a career due to flare ups. my eldest is 18 and has depression and a house move would actually just send him crazy.

we are attending mediation in two weeks time. i am petrified. any help would be appreciated.

OP posts:

SausagePourHomme · 23/01/2022 17:37

What a heartless jerk he is. Lawyer up. Be tough. He is no longer your friend to be trusted with giving you a good deal.

Wnikat · 23/01/2022 17:40

How much equity is in the house? You’ll be getting 50% of that and 50% of his pension as a starting point surely?

Original poster

jacwhit007 · 23/01/2022 17:44

i would like to think given i have nothing and will have no means of income i will get a little more than 50 per cent of the house. the house is worth 425k and we've a £100k mortgage left.

will he be able to get me out knowing that i'll be unemployed and have to have the kids full time and i've not a penny to my name.

i'm so stressed. it's making me so poorly x

OP posts:

paname · 23/01/2022 18:22

You need a solicitor OP. You might get a bit more of the house. If you can't work you will qualify for benefits but the threshold is very high. It might seem hard now but is there nothing you could do?

paname · 23/01/2022 18:23

His pension will be considered an asset to be split so it's not quite true that you don't have a pension.

Original poster

jacwhit007 · 23/01/2022 18:26

i will definitely get another job. of course. but obviously i am just frightened that i've not been in the career ladder for 20 years as i've been raising his company with him. i'm worried at how much i'll be able to earn and i need to be there for kids etc. so i'm just scared i suppose. the child maintenance is annoying me too as he only claims £10k as a salary and then takes the rest in dividends and the maintenance goes off his basic salary of £10k. well he pulls £6k a month 😳🤦‍♀️

OP posts:

FindingMeno · 23/01/2022 18:29

You need legal advice.
He's clearly the sort of person who will walk all over you with no qualms otherwise.
Don't let him, the arrogant twat.

Original poster

jacwhit007 · 23/01/2022 18:45

🤣🤣. yeah. that's putting it mildly !!

OP posts:

Itsybitsydooda · 28/01/2022 09:14

I think you can ask CSA to look again at your OH's income and take the dividends into account if you can show they are regular income. Time to start collecting up as much evidence as you can without his knowledge so you have the evidence you need.

mostlydrinkstea · 28/01/2022 13:29

Lawyer up. In a long marriage the starting point is 50:50. That includes his pension. You both need to be housed but you might expect a 60:40 split on the house you currently own to reflect your unwaged input into the business.

My husband also has a small company and it was really hard to put a value on it. You should have company accounts and hopefully you can spot is anything has been left out or undervalued. Has he been running it down in preparation for the divorce?

I cannot stress the importance of having a really good family law solicitor in your corner. They front up the negotiations and you do not have to deal with the soon to be ex.

My children are adults but my impression from listening to others is that you should not leave the family home. Check out what benefits you might be entitled to. Also the court will expect to see you equally housed so him in a penthouse and you on the street isn't going to fly.

It is worth getting a plan together about how you might work even if it seems impossible at the moment. Are there courses to accredit your skills or is there something you can offer such as charity bookkeeping that seems simple if it is your skill set but not if it isn't?

This is a horrible, horrible thing to go through.

mostlydrinkstea · 28/01/2022 13:43

Mediation. I didn't. It was all done through the solicitors. It was more expensive but way better for my mental health. If you have to go down the mediation route write out what you want and be prepared for him to have rewritten the entire history of your marriage. Hopefully the mediator will have seen it all before and not fall for the nonsense. If there is cheating involved find Chump Nation online as that shines a light on the script they all use.

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