Had the talk AGAIN but surprised myself with my reasonings.

[Laziebo]

We had the talk again yesterday.
DH doesn't seem to be getting the message after I told him before Christmas that I wanted to separate shortly after Christmas.
I sank into the trap of explaining myself again. I said I felt like he hated me as he's oppositional about absolutely everything and so obstructive. He said that I hate him. I said I dislike him; he asked why.
Then all this stuff came out...
"Because you don't care about the planet and think living more economically is a big joke, because you don't keep yourself healthy to live as long as you can for our children, because you have no pride in yourself anymore and because you refuse to try yoga and won't join me in my watersports hobby."
Half of it sounded ridiculous when it all came out.
His interests are a far cry from mine and I do all of my hobbies and interests alone. He complains of back pain but refuses to try yoga, which got rid of mine. He has hobbies but no interest in trying mine so that we have a mutual hobby. I realise that these things are at the crux of everything and really important to me.
Do they sound like silly reasons?

Yes they are silly and shallow because you don’t need to share any of those hobbies or values to be together.

However if that is a serious conversation then there probably isn’t much keeping you together and so you should leave him. You don’t have to give a reason or get acceptance from him. You just separate and leave. He doesn’t want to separate so won’t make the first move. But you can do it yourself.

I guess the over-arching issues which permeate much more than no desire to try yoga or watersports is actually:
-Lack of wanting to improve or grow.
-Lack of desire to try new things.
-Happy to have me at home but not to experience anything with me, resulting in feelings of worthlessness and feeling undervalued.
-Lack of self care.
-Lack of care and apathy for things around him.
-Making light of things that are important to me.

It just came out on a superficial level because he asks me for examples and then it's a slippery slope of over justification and him questioning the validity of my reasoning.

@Laziebo

We had the talk again yesterday. DH doesn't seem to be getting the message after I told him before Christmas that I wanted to separate shortly after Christmas. I sank into the trap of explaining myself again. I said I felt like he hated me as he's oppositional about absolutely everything and so obstructive. He said that I hate him. I said I dislike him; he asked why. Then all this stuff came out... "Because you don't care about the planet and think living more economically is a big joke, because you don't keep yourself healthy to live as long as you can for our children, because you have no pride in yourself anymore and because you refuse to try yoga and won't join me in my watersports hobby." Half of it sounded ridiculous when it all came out. His interests are a far cry from mine and I do all of my hobbies and interests alone. He complains of back pain but refuses to try yoga, which got rid of mine. He has hobbies but no interest in trying mine so that we have a mutual hobby. I realise that these things are at the crux of everything and really important to me. Do they sound like silly reasons?

No offence, but if someone ran a book on whether you divorced more than once in your life I'd bet my house on it.

Couples graduating towards doing more hobbies apart is a completely normal part of a long marriage.

If you take away the hobby situation, how is your marriage ? Do you kiss, cuddle, are you intimate , do you go out for a coffee/meal together, do you enjoy each other’s company and chat about your day ?
If the answer is no then it’s not the hobbies that are the problem.

There is a lot more to it @goodnightgrandma yes.

Why don’t you just leave him? Why do you need him to accept your criticism and agree to anything. Just leave.

I don't think your reasons are silly. Yes maybe the yoga one, but the others seem fair enough to me.

No I don't think they're silly at all. It's very unattractive to me when someone doesn't look after themselves. When someone doesn't exercise, eat well etc, that's a deal breaker for me.