Separation/house/finances

[CBedford]

Long term lurker looking for advice please - i have no idea where to start with this.

I’ve recently separated from my partner. I hoped it would be amicable despite it being an abusive relationship but it’s turned very nasty very quickly.

I’ll try and post as much information without too much unnecessary detail.

Together 3 years. Not married, no children.
We bought a house together just over a year ago - this was going to be our very long term home and needed renovating. This has nearly finished but still a fair bit to do on it.
We bought house for £220k - £10k gift from my mom, £40k from me, £8k from partner.
I am the higher earner (£37k at the time, £42k now, rising to £47k later this month). Partner took a year out of work to do a PGCE with my support and therefore had no salary the past year, although had a bursary (£15k, £9k for course fees leaving £600 a month until last Summer) which went towards bills and mortgage only. I paid for everything else (food and building work and living costs etc). His salary is now £25k a year from last September.
Without my knowledge he spent the £9k earmarked for course fees on house renovations (which i’d explicitly asked him not to do as i wanted us to budget properly) and then later had to borrow from my mom and his friend to pay off his University fees.
We both did work on the house too and he spent his whole Summer doing a lot of work on the house which would have cost thousands had we paid for builders to do this. This work was very intensive and hard and he’d never done this before. It is to a very good standard. He has also spent a lot of weekends working on the house.
We borrowed £15k off my mom to do house renovations too.
In total, we’ve spent around £30k on the house with a large percentage coming from me, but of course a large chunk of the work coming from him.

I want to keep the house and exploring my options about this. The reason i am very keen to keep the house is because it’s very hard to buy in this area and we live in one of the most desirable parts of the city we live in. We were very lucky to buy this and managed to get it before it went on the market - we would not have been able to buy it otherwise. I love the area and want to stay here, and it is also in the catchment area for the best schools in the city (primary and secondary) and i know i would never be able to buy in the area again.

ExP has said if i keep the house, he wants 50/50 split of the equity and also thinks I should pay off the money he borrowed from his friend and my mom, as he said he only had to do this as he’d spent his bursary on the house (i know this is true and don’t dispute that although i’d asked him not to do this). His parents also gave us £3k as a gift to buy things for the house and he wants me to give that back to his parents too. He also believes i should be solely responsible for paying back the £15k my mom loaned us for house repairs.

Things are very bad between us now and i know my only option is a solicitor. I have no idea and no frame of reference so just wanting to get an idea of whether this is fair and makes sense before i do speak to a solicitor. He is very abusive and would call me stupid throughout our relationship and has continued so i now have very little confidence in myself and trying to work things out. Any advice would be really very welcomed.

So long story short - would 50/50 and me paying off all the debts be fair if i kept the house?

Thanks in advance

So long story short - would 50/50 and me paying off all the debts be fair if i kept the house?

If you can afford it, and it would bring matters to a speedy conclusion, then I would agree to this. So, on the proviso that everything goes through quickly - and with no fuss at all or renaging on the agreement - then I would.

However - one little sign of awkwardness, or trying to renage on the deal, and I'd just had the whole lot over to the solicitor. Agree, but don't let him drag it out.

You weren’t married so much of the information given is irrelevant.

When you purchased the house you would of set up a deed of trust.

The deed of trust states how much money each person has contributed towards the property purchase, and what should happen to this money if: The property is sold. A relationship breaks down. One owner buys the other out.

Have the house valued. Ring fence your deposits you put in.

Monies gifted and borrowed are a joint hit either way.

Whatever the equity. Pay off monies borrowed and split remained. Sounds fair to me.

Generally for marriages under 10 years (unless you have been together for a long time unmarried and have kids which isn't the case) they settlement will be determined on the difference between what the current assets are and what each of you brought to the marriage, then you split "profits" if applicable. Your salary isn't relevant but his debts are. In this situation I would suggest (assuming the rise in the value of the house hasn't exceeded what you have put in) offering to pay off his debt to your mum and his friend in return for him walking away. This covers the £8k he put in initially and some. If you can offer to return the £3k his parents have too even better.

How is ownership defined on the title deeds? Tenants in common (which captures how much you each put in) or joint tenants - so 50/50?

I am struggling with the maths - your mum helped out with £15k towards the renovations, he paid £9k but you contributed the bulk of the total £30k? This reads as you have put £6k of your own money in?

If you have good records (and what to go beyond a straight spilt dependent on the % in the deeds), set out who has paid what and who owes what in loans - it sounds like the loan from your mum was to both of you. No idea how you value the work he did.

Also bear in mind that if you get solicitors involved, then this will reduce your payout.

Well legally it’s straightforward
Each party is entitled to the share relevant to how the house is owned - joint tenants is 50:50, tenants in common is 50:50 unless you specified in a fee of trust what % each person holds eg 70:30 or whatever
That’s it

@millymolls

Well legally it’s straightforward Each party is entitled to the share relevant to how the house is owned - joint tenants is 50:50, tenants in common is 50:50 unless you specified in a fee of trust what % each person holds eg 70:30 or whatever That’s it

Yes this is it. But you have both created a complicated tangle of gifts and borrowing that might not be documented. Those parties will have declare their view of the money they gifted or lent to you. But will presumably be happy if they get their money back.

Hi all,
Thank you for the comments, really helpful. I have checked and it is 50/50 as a few of you had already said

If the house is 50/60 that's one thing. But the loans from your mum should be deducted 50/50 too- he can't get you to pay for these on your own. 50/50 is just that. He's having his cake and eating it.

Debts and gifts are jointly liable.

When I spectated from my partner I got legal advice. I had put in a bigger deposits. And there were some joint debts. So I presented my ex with what had been discussed. Deposits was mine to be ring fenced. Debts deducted from remaining equity. What was left was 50/50.

It is worth seeking out some professional advice. It was about £100 for an hour. But we both knew where we stood going forward.