Recommendations for SHL in London/surrounding areas?

[Aries77]

Just this really. Would like to speak to a few on the 30 free minutes and decide to instruct one. Background: both working parents but dealing with a narcissist soon to be exH whom will most likely go against anything I propose out of spite, so need someone savvy enough to recognise the dynamics. Thank you!

"Most likely" or "will?"

Reason I ask is because if you enter with this mentality the only certainty will be a big fat legal bill and maybe even court and a judge who takes exception to your inability to mediate.

Suggest you try mediation first. Mediators know the law well enough to give you both a pretty clear idea of what is fair.

It’s 90% likely right now.
Just want to instruct someone to give me a picture of what I can expecting in terms of an agreement re childcare and finances at this point. Intend to agree matters via mediation if possible. Then intend to use lawyers to review any final agreement.

Shit hot lawyers don't do free half hours!

You will likely pay a lot more in central London than outside. Where are you in relation to the centre? Do you have complex assets?

I spoke to four solicitors and they all had different opinions on my case (I'm the primary earner divorcing a SAHM). Asset splits ranging from 55/45 to 70/30; three saying no spousal maintenance, one saying possible spousal maintenance; two unsure I would be successful in getting shared custody, two thinking I could etc). The reality is divorce outcomes hinge on a huge range of factors, solicitors won't look that closely at your case because the first meeting doesn't generate fees and they'll talk in generalities and won't commit to any outcomes because they know if it gets to court the discretion is wide and it depends on who the judge is. In my opinion, they're quite good at reading and advising on legal documents and they can represent you in courts etc but don't expect much from the initial consultation.

A better way to start - in my opinion - is to:

1. Assume childcare responsibilities based on the status quo (you say both working, so is childcare shared equally already? If so, assume shared custody. If one parent is a primary carer, assume that);

2. On the basis of 1), work out the combined cost of your needs and his needs. Is a 50/50 split enough combined with future incomes enough to meet those needs? If not, are there enough assets and incomes to meet both needs but with an unequal split of assets? That'll give you a rough idea of the split of assets, unless there are not enough assets for all needs to be addressed and therefore the welfare of the children take priority;

3. Consider your incomes including any benefits and child maintenance paid from one to the other. Is that enough to meet needs? If not, possibly spousal maintenance but only if payer can afford it and normally only for a period of adjustment. Also, spousal maintenance reduces universal credit £ for £ so only worth pursuing if it's going to be worth more than UC.

@FutureExH thank you. My issue is that h is effectively a narcissist so I need a lawyer or even a mediator whom is aware of this and skilled enough to understand this and obtain the best outcome for me. I have approached the issue from the way you have outlined but h will operate a scorched earth policy and will be doing all he can to oppose my proposals

@MrsBertBibby - outskirts of London. No real complications other than behaviour of has outlined above

North South West or East?

We have all of us dealt with narcissist traits.

@MrsBertBibby - thank you. Could I dm you please ?

Sure