Who pays for activities during access time?

[Keepempeeled]

My exH has our sons for 70 nights a year and accordingly pays me 1/7th less CMS because of this.
However, when they are with him and DS14 wants to meet up with his friends, ExH claims he wont give him any money- so today it was a cinema ticket, as I hadn’t sent any spending money.
I don’t think I should be, that there should be an agreement between ExH and DS about whether or not they can do activities, and he funds them if he gives permission.
I wanted to send some explanation to ExH but can’t find any online guidance.

Thanks for any opinion or advice.

Surely the point of him not paying you CMS for the days he has them is because he’s supposed to be paying for whatever they need directly on those days? Don’t know if there’s any specific official guidance but that’s just common sense!

@sunbird24 I agree but have started to question myself! Thank you

That's crazy. When my children are with their dad he pays for all activities. They have clothes and everything they need there. Ex is pretty tight and we have had issues over other things but CMS does reductions per night spent with other parent as they are responsible for looking after the children for those nights.

When they are with him, then he pays

Draw up a list and then decide. Pin it up on a wall too so everyone can see.

I'm going against the grain here.

It is up to you to negotiate with your 14yo DS for money for chores round the house.
It is up to ExH to do the same.

DS is then able to decide for himself when to spend combined earnings.

At 14 he should be able to earn his pocket money and spend it how and when he chooses.

Divorced or together doesn't matter. A 14 yo is old enough to earn his money by helping round the house and shouldn't expect his social life to be funded by parents.

If your DS and his mate wanted to do something in your time would you expect your Ex to pay for it? What do you think his reaction would be.

Is no different.

"Your with your dad, it's up to you and him what you do there and how its funded"
"Hes with you, it's up to you what he does there and how its funded

Dont second guess your self.

A 14 year old shouldn't just be handed money and have should an allowance (ours is linked to chores) however who pays in this situation is complicated and needs to be agreed by you as parents.