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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Ex new partner domestic violence and my kids

6 replies

HollyIvy89 · 23/12/2021 09:34

Hello
The kids dad lady has recently beat him up. He filmed it. Called police. Had her arrested. Her bail condition was she came no where near him for last 3 weeks. During these 3 weeks he explained the situation to our children, he turned up at my door numerous times looking for sympathy. He signed himself off work. He looked to be upset with situation. I told him I wouldn’t want her around our children. He assured me he could not be with her again. Our children were out on a child protection register in light of her actions. She went to court and had her bail conditions lifted. She is pleading not guilty case continues . I’m assuming now he may retract his statement. She moved back in.
He rocked up yesterday to take our children for Xmas as agreed and said she’s home. I enquired if my children are safe. He looked like I had 2 heads asking such a question. He is now telling me ‘it is what it is.’ And he said to the kids they must be nice with her and ‘get over it’.

I feel sick for my kids having to be around this lady and this situation in general.

Any advice, reassurance, would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Strongerthanyouthink · 23/12/2021 11:38

What a dreadful thing for you to go through. In this specific case I would be saying no to the children visiting. I wouldn't normally say that, but I do not believe it to be a safe environment for them at all with her there. Say no and speak to a solicitor about making some kind of formal arrangement. Can you also get in touch with social services as they were put on the protective register and Express your concerns? Get all the support you can. So sorry you and the children have experienced this.

Nomoreusernames1244 · 23/12/2021 11:41

If they’re on a child protection plan call social services and get them to risk assess.

Obviously they need to be kept away, but if he can’t keep them safe then you’ll need social services input asap to show you can by not letting them go. Ss will help you enforce that.

FutureExH · 23/12/2021 20:41

@HollyIvy89

Hello The kids dad lady has recently beat him up. He filmed it. Called police. Had her arrested. Her bail condition was she came no where near him for last 3 weeks. During these 3 weeks he explained the situation to our children, he turned up at my door numerous times looking for sympathy. He signed himself off work. He looked to be upset with situation. I told him I wouldn’t want her around our children. He assured me he could not be with her again. Our children were out on a child protection register in light of her actions. She went to court and had her bail conditions lifted. She is pleading not guilty case continues . I’m assuming now he may retract his statement. She moved back in. He rocked up yesterday to take our children for Xmas as agreed and said she’s home. I enquired if my children are safe. He looked like I had 2 heads asking such a question. He is now telling me ‘it is what it is.’ And he said to the kids they must be nice with her and ‘get over it’. I feel sick for my kids having to be around this lady and this situation in general. Any advice, reassurance, would be greatly appreciated.
Surely this cannot be allowed to happen? The children must be terrified?
Roundeartheratchriatmas · 23/12/2021 20:52

Contact social services ASAP.

Morechocmorechoc · 23/12/2021 21:12

You shouldn't have let them go. I'd go collect them asap

CheshireChat · 23/12/2021 22:55

He's failing to safeguard his children and SS will take a very dim view of this, this might give him the push he needs to stay away from her as well.

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