How to deal and cope with big changes like moving home with a 2 year old?

[swizzbob]

Hi everyone. After my partner admitted yet another long term lie about infidelity I have decided it's time to go.

We have a mortgage and beautiful home together which we cannot afford separately at all (we also both have debt plans and no money) so the most logical option is to sell the house as our equity will pay off our debt plans and allow us to separate with a fresh start and money to rent somewhere separately (no chance of getting another mtg because of poor credit)

My situation is that we have a two year old boy and I am heavily pregnant and due in about six or seven weeks.

I am so scared about how to cope on my own. My parents have offered for me toddler and new baby to live with them temporarily which is fine but it's 45 minutes from our home and lives, my maternity and health care and most importantly my toddlers routine and childcare.

My toddler has in the last 6 weeks started waking in the night after transitioning to a toddler bed and the only way to get him to sleep or back to sleep at the moment is to hold his hand until he dozes off (doesn't usually take long) but I wonder how the hell im meant to do that on my own with a new baby? Everything is usually split and handled so equally between my partner and I.

And I just worry so much about the mental impact of my son not having his daddy around full time, and what if he misses home and his bed and cries when we drive past?

I don't really know what I'm asking. This is such a difficult situation to be in, I could just do with some advice and support from anyone that's gone through this previously.

Thankyou for reading xxx

I promise it will be fine. Of course you're going to worry about...well, everything at this stage...because you're still in a period of transition. But you're doing the right thing. You don't want to be with a man who isn't faithful...that's never going to be a positive environment for your children.

The fact that you're going to live with your parents is hugely positive and if you spin it that way for your son, he'll be excited about it.
2 is very, very young...and they forget things so quickly.

My kids are 17 and 13 now...and when I look back to the things I worried about regarding them now...well, I wish I knew what i know now!

All kids need is a happy parent and a safe, warm home. He's going to have that....regarding your son crying when you drive past...just don't drive past. Go a different way.

And as for the baby...well it's harder with two even with the Dad around...of course it's harder alone but you'll work it out.

You won't have to hold your son's hand forever. That's just at the moment...and if your baby's crying and your son is crying, you just throw the rules out of the window and put them both in bed with you for a bit until one or both is asleep. Then sneak them back to their own beds.

Will your parents help with the kids?

Doable yet tricky. You are in my prayers.

I think you are incredibly brave.
Things may feel difficult to begin with but I can tell you things feel easier once you are out of a bad relationship. You no longer have that taking up space in your head because you have made the decision.
It won't be perfect, but who cares, just enjoy your children.