I need some advice

[Uglyduckling123]

Probably I should start saying that in this moment I am speechless, anxious and feeling betrayed.
My husband and I argued a week ago, he tried to strangle me, twice. By the next day, I felt completely humiliated. He asked me whats for lunch, we started arguing again and I slapped him.
He then called the police....they never came but rang me 4 days later. I told them what happened and said that the file will be closed.
That file will also be sent to social services and likely will accompany my son's records by my understanding.
I can't think straight right now and dont know what to do. How will this impact me in future? I feel that I should leave him and already thinking of how to do it.
Please can anyone advise?

Straight answer. Yes you should leave him. Straight away. There is NO excuse for trying to strangle you.

This is absolutely terrible. Please contact Women’s aid.

When you said you told the Police what happened, do they know he tried to strangle you? They need to know so that if you have to call them in the future they know to respond quickly.

Do you have any friends or family that you can go to or at least tell what has happened?

If you are struggling to leave for yourself can you leave for the sake of your son?

Please keep us updated 💐

Yes, you should leave him. Carefully. You sound at very high risk of serious harm.

Speak to Women's Aid so you can make a safe exit plan.

I'm surprised and disappointed that the police would NFA him strangling you. They should have removed him and taken steps to protect you.

I have told them what happened, they know and asked me if i want to file in a complaint, i declined.
I feel safe in the house with him, he ignores me since it happened. I don't have anybody here unfortunately. I will leave him for sure, it cant go on like this.
I just don't know how this report/file will haunt me in future and wondering if anybody has been in my place.
Never has a speeding ticket let alone something like this.
Thank you for your kind response.

Get the fuck out before he kills you. The police have been absolutely irresponsible for allowing you to leave this without further investigation. This is why some forces don’t give you the option of whether you want to proceed with pressing charges. You are clearly not thinking straight.

The fact that he’s strangled you TWICE puts you at significantly increased risk that he will kill you. It’s a marker that police are aware of and should have been a red flag to them. Please report it properly, get out of the house and make sure he is never allowed alone in the same room as you and preferably your DCs too.

Yes leave him. Please report his attempted murder to a competent police force. Change the locks, file for divorce and protect yourself and the kids from this person without a soul obviously. Also complain about the incompetent police force to the government or to whoever oversees police training etc. Call up a divorce lawyer for more advice and more support.

Having strangled you ‘non fatally’ you are 6-7 times more likely to be killed by him in future than a woman who has not been strangled by their so-called partner.

Please take this seriously and ensure that the police do too.

@Uglyduckling123
People strangle to murder so this is more serious than you slapping your husband.

If/when you separate from your husband you are likely to end up in family court (if you can't agree on who your son lives with or how to share custody). Your husband will use against you the fact that you slapped him. He could say you were physically abusive. He's already called the police about a slap so he may already be thinking of making you look abusive because of his own abusive behaviour. This is another reason to report properly that he tried to strangle you twice.

Social Services & family courts accuse mothers of putting their children at risk of harm if they do not report their husband's abuse. The mother is then treated worse than the abuser.

I'm not trying to scare you by saying this, it's just better to be aware as this is so commonplace. I only know this from hindsight, it's hard to know what to do when it's happening to you. How are you doing?