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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Help: can I be penalised for not paying this?

10 replies

TherapyClient · 17/12/2021 19:24

H seeking divorce suddenly wants to play hard ball.

When we met, he began home renovations. I was nothing to do with the plans as he began it all before I met him.

We had been dating 2 months when the work started and the property became unliveable in, so he moved in with me in my flat. He lived there a year without paying a single penny or helping out with any housework.

I developed an incurable and degenerative disease and after a year off, had to be medically retired. This meant I couldn't afford to pay my mortgage anymore and we moved out of my flat to his house, which was nearly refurbed. I was also pregnant.

I had nothing to do with the renovations because it was all sorted before I came on the scene, and H and his family jointly paid for the costs.

Once I moved in, I organised payment pro-rata of costs, so although he paid for the bills, I paid for holidays, pet costs, car, furniture and furnishings, presents, and everything for the baby. It was fairly distributed.

Now we are divorcing he is trying to claim I have paid nothing towards the renovations which he feels should give him a bigger share in the assets.

Is he right? Can he do that?

OP posts:
Jada1234 · 17/12/2021 22:20

As you have a child you will most likely get over 50% Also because of your disability.

oviraptor21 · 17/12/2021 22:43

How long have you been together and married?

TherapyClient · 18/12/2021 04:51

Over a decade

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 18/12/2021 05:15

Can you get past bank statements to prove you have paid?

Haus1234 · 18/12/2021 05:20

I don’t see how this is different from him just owning a slightly more valuable house at the start of your relationship than he actually did. After a decade of marriage, at least one child and given you are medically retired I would expect you to get a fair (>50%) of all the assets.

Avidreader12 · 18/12/2021 07:03

He’s trying to gauge your reaction and probably has been talking to family. I would seek legal advice before agreeing to anything. Usually it should be 50:50 you shouldn’t need to prove anything as your married it becomes joint assets

TherapyClient · 18/12/2021 11:22

Yeah I do have a solicitor but I don't like to keep phoning to ask every little question. It seems every day he brings up a new dilemma for me to worry about So I thought I'd do well to ask around here a bit.

OP posts:
DameCelia · 18/12/2021 11:26

@TherapyClient
Ask MNHQ to move this to legal matters, or re-post it there yourself.
There are very experienced lawyers over there who can help, rather than the opinions of people who may or may not know what they're talking about.

AllotmentTime · 18/12/2021 11:29

Start a list of crap that your H is coming up with to ask your solicitor about periodically. It will hopefully help you to feel that you’ve got each thing in the way to being dealt with- it’s on the list so don’t worry about it. It will also help you to see if there is a pattern of H just coming up with any random shit to upset/wear you out. And your solicitor will probably find it easier to get an email occasionally with “here’s a list of batshit threats from H- can you tell me if any of them are things we genuinely need to be concerned about” rather than frequent phone calls.

Flowers
millymolls · 18/12/2021 13:16

As you’re married who paid for what is largely irrelevant
What’s considered are
Length of marriage
Children and their ages
Housing them
Ensuring both parties are left equal ( does not mean 50:50)
Earnings and earnings potential
All assets and liabilities

Only your solicitor will be able to give you accurate advise based on your unique circumstances

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