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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Head in the sand?

4 replies

adollopofthisandthat · 13/12/2021 13:49

I have insisted on a trial separation after years of DH's temper and manipulation. After making a big fuss he reluctantly agreed and moved out last week.

Except he's already saying to the DC "I'm hoping I'll be back very soon" as if he thinks he's just being sent away for a while as some sort of punishment, and any discussions about money result in "no need to change anything for now".

I don't know if he genuinely doesn't get that this is a trial to see if we might separate, or whether he's just pretending he doesn't get it? I don't know what I'm going to want a few months down the line...that's the whole point, but you'd think he'd realise that even asking for a trial means it could be made permanent...

It's doing my head in him pretending that things are mostly ok, I don't want to be cruel and spell it out to him, or maybe I should - for background he gets very abusive when he's angry so I'm not wanting to make things difficult any sooner than necessary.

OP posts:
languagelover96 · 13/12/2021 15:12

Lawyer up pronto in case. Make copies of all paperwork too.

TheTrinity · 14/12/2021 10:13

I think he gets it but continues to try to manipulate and control you by saying what he said to your DC and refusing to engage in discussions about money which is necessary. I would try to ignore his behaviour (he wants to get a reaction from you) and continue calmly to decide what is best for you and your DC.

GoodnightGrandma · 15/12/2021 06:45

Be very wary that him not wanting to change anything regarding money might be him buying time while he squirrels away money.
I hope you’ve got screenshots of any joint accounts.

Thissucksmonkeynuts · 15/12/2021 06:57

If hes out of the house then that gives you some good time to make copies of all you financial paperwork, marriage/birth certificates, hide passports* etc and to get legal advice. Make a list of any bank accounts or sums of money you think he has that aren't in your name too. Plus any debts. Good luck OP.

  • I'm assuming that these are still in the house and you have always had access to them?
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