Mediator

[Sweetie1980]

Please can someone offer some advice. My ex is being difficult about child's arrangements so the mediator has advised we tackle finances first as apparently this helps? I don't get it as I thought children arrangements would be needed first ?he is playing loads of games lie reducing his work for 50/50 and lowering his income. Has anyone been through anything similar?

Is CAFCASS involved? You can ask for a section 7 where they take the impact of the child into consideration. Calling her a problem is so damaging, especially as children often blame themselves for parents divorcing.

Please keep a diary of all these things. That way you can present it and have the evidence to back up your concerns. No parent should ever call their child a problem. Mine drive me nuts some days but there's no way I'd send them to their dad full time. Its already been noted that when he had them for some time in half term he worked and his gf took them out. Im waiting to see what happens next week

@Sweetie1980

Please can someone offer some advice. My ex is being difficult about child's arrangements so the mediator has advised we tackle finances first as apparently this helps? I don't get it as I thought children arrangements would be needed first ?he is playing loads of games lie reducing his work for 50/50 and lowering his income. Has anyone been through anything similar?

It's utterly pointless for him to play those games, he obviously doesn't understanding the law:

1. Child maintenance is based on his last year of earnings and can be reassessed. A short term drop in earnings is irrelevant because he'll have to start paying more again as soon as he earns more;

2. For spousal maintenance (rare, but you haven't told me how much he earns) and for a fair division of capital it'll be based on what his earning capacity is (not what he earns) and what your earning capacity is (again, not necessarily what you actually earn). Reducing his income for a bit won't fool a judge!