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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce and mediation started but need advice pls

3 replies

kentmum77 · 06/12/2021 03:42

Bit of background: been together for 15 years, married 7, have DD who’s 7.
His drinking and my anxiety started 2+ years go, after his violence and a short refuge stay, he moved out and Non-Mol was granted.
Myself and DD moved back but struggled financially as I’d been made redundant. Things were amicable with him seeing DD on arrangement. 8 months later, and almost 200 failed hun applications, we moved 100 miles away to care for my ill parent. And he moved back to our joint house. 6 months on and we are still in a at my parents, in a tiny room, top and tailing, not able to get help with housing due to owning my house, just got a job tho.
Agreed to sell house in new year, agreed on divorce, have the decree nisi and going through financial mediation before the absolute.

He’s currently been in a relationship for ‘a few months’ clearly not living in our home but with her and her 4 children. Still only paying £50 a week (cos he can’t afford more……he says)
He’s admitted he just made up the figures in the disclosure (plus not admitting he’s moved in with her). The mediator won’t discuss or even hear my concerns out of session (£185 a time). He wants 50/50, won’t consider his pension coming anywhere near me and won’t contribute to the £15k debt with the bank where he’s been financially controlling. Abusive, a narcissist, arrested twice for violence, had the non mol, out of date recently but won’t renew without an incident in last 6 weeks!
It was only today that he took our DD to meet them after finding out last week and I’ve not stopped balling ever since. There’s no way I want him back, but she’s already calling one of the girls ‘her sister’ and I know she’d had loads of fun there. I just feel so alone and don’t know who to speak to about his lies in disclosure

OP posts:
kentmum77 · 06/12/2021 03:46

That’s meant to say “applied for 200 JOB applications” Hmm

OP posts:
IknowwhatIneed · 06/12/2021 17:43

Is there a reason you don’t want to just bring it all out in your mediation session? The mediator can’t do their job properly if they don’t know. He knows he’s lied, you know he’s lied so you won’t be saying anything that’s news to him?

GoodnightGrandma · 07/12/2021 06:43

Don’t worry about the fun she had there, it probably won’t last long. My step mother was lovely to me when she and DF got together, but it didn’t take long for her true colours to show.
But in the mean time, it’s good that she’s having a good time with her DF. It’s not a competition, you are ‘home’ to her.

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