Financial order what to include

[Namele]

Hi. I'll be divorcing my h in the new year. I've pretty much worked out a fair split of assets which I'm pretty sure he'll agree to. That bit was easy to be fair. Just wondering what else I need/ should include in our financial order?
I'm thinking things such as cms for example. He'll be paying a reasonable amount of cms due to his earnings, just wondering if we should have a clause saying this needs to be reviewed annually? Do I put in there that it should be paid until the children leave full time education so that it will help with uni costs? Without the kids around, he wants EOW, he'll be able to spend every waking minute working and increasing his earning potential.
Also do we include splitting costs for more expensive child costs (uniform, school trips etc)?
Anything else I should think about? Holiday clubs for example? I'll be having to pay for childcare during summer holidays to be able to work. Can I include that considering that he won't have the children? Or do I just have to suck it up?
As I said, he'll be paying a substantial amount cms (£700+ a month), but that's due to his high income. I'm not going to be poor, I work 30hrs a week and get paid well, but that's still only half of what he earns and unlikely to increase while the kids are still young and I'll have the kids 90% ish of the time. I want it to be fair, but also don't want to take the piss.

Anything that is agreed in a court order re financing the dc (in full time secondary education/up to y13 if staying in school) can be overturned after 12 months by a formal application for CMS. This is reviewed annually.

Have you got a child arrangement order? This will stipulate when the dc will see their dad and can include the arrangements (and the implied costs) of things like holiday clubs etc. However, he cannot be forced to have the dc, or indeed pay any more than cms.

Sorry, that sounds really negative.

Basically whatever you can agree on civilly is great - uniform, trips etc. But be prepared that it cannot be enforced if he goes down cms route after 12m.

If it helps Im about to do the same and Im putting in mine that he has our girls every other weekend and is responsible for them half of every school holiday, that way he either takes them or he is responsible for footing the childcare bill. I'm also taking a greater share of the assets as I have them 85% of the time and as such my earning potential is affected.

Are you speaking with a solicitor? It doesn't sound like you are, or if so, then not enough, because if he's earning enough for that CMS, the split is usually not 'easy' when pensions, future earning capacities are taken into account. So many women focus on getting a main residency and/or a good share of the house and end up massively short-changed on pension share or - like you - failing to agree that you each have responsibility for a good chunk of the school holidays.

You should really get a solicitor involved here. Ignore the bs talked a lot on MN about 'shit hot lawyers' who apparently offer free half hours all round that will sort you out. It costs many hundreds for a good solicitor even for a relatively small amount of time, but the return can be tens of thousands (or more).

OK thanks that's interesting. I do have a solicitor but we're at very early stages. I've had an initial chat with her (not a free one, they don't do this) she's great and knows her stuff but she's not cheap and I want to make sure I have enough information together when I speak to her to keep costs down. I think I may see where I can get to with him with regards to half the school holidays. He won't like it as it'll impact his work. I've discussed my proposed split of assets with my solicitor and she seems to think it's fair. It would give me a substantially higher % of our assets. Just wondered if the Financial order needed to include anything else but seems I need a child arrangement order for that.

@Namele

OK thanks that's interesting. I do have a solicitor but we're at very early stages. I've had an initial chat with her (not a free one, they don't do this) she's great and knows her stuff but she's not cheap and I want to make sure I have enough information together when I speak to her to keep costs down. I think I may see where I can get to with him with regards to half the school holidays. He won't like it as it'll impact his work. I've discussed my proposed split of assets with my solicitor and she seems to think it's fair. It would give me a substantially higher % of our assets. Just wondered if the Financial order needed to include anything else but seems I need a child arrangement order for that.

Are you sure you have all assets? There can be a number of different ISAs, pensions from different jobs etc - and if there should be a final salary pension, it's expensive but really worth getting an actuary to value it, because it will be worth a lot when it's properly calculated. I was on there other side of some of these sums and it was fairly horrible watching how much of the money got shuffled around to ensure that we ended up 'fair' (which did not really feel the right choice of word in my circumstances, but at least means I can hopefully help others ).

I don't think you can realistically do a financial order separately from any agreement about children, because they're so intertwined. For example school uniform - usually the assumption would be that they'd have 2 sets if doing any weekly sharing, and you'd pay for the extra you might need out of the CMS for your nights. But if he's doing very little and you'll end up buying everything t could at least be worth saying that he needs to contribute something.

When it does come to the kids, agree on trying to take at least a good split of holidays - ideally half but otherwise at least 1/3 weeks or similar. You'll also need agreements for Christmas and birthdays if possible, better not to have to discuss at the time. Finally - eow is a really long gap for the kids. Could they not do something like every Wednesday night and eow? It's good for his and their relationship to have more frequent contact while they're still young, plus is good for your career (+sometimes sanity) and also your and his understanding as he'll have more of an idea of the daily grind. As the kids get older it's also a good routine, because increasingly weekends become about their friends and not parents. It may not be relevant to you, certainly wasn't for me, but with eow only, having a social life is much harder and dating is fraught as your time is so limited, or you have to run the risk of having a date over/meeting kids earlier than you'd like.

Good luck, it's horrible but can end up better.

I would suggest full time education (max 25) split school trips, uniforms etc and annual review of cms. If he gets bonuses that's something else to be factored in. If he earns over £100k would suggest also having a clause to revisit spousal maintenance if your financial position changes dramatically eg illness etc. as otherwise it can't be

We worked everything out between us - 60% to me