Does anyone have experience of divorcing a Covert Narcissist?
Mine isn’t responding to my solicitor or the mediator. I think he is playing games and holding out for me to come back to him. He’s just been away on his business Xmas do and was texting me, as though nothing is wrong.
He also texts me that he loves me.
He said in front of the children that he’s received an email for a mediation appointment. I didn’t respond to him, as I thought it was inappropriate to talk in front of our teenage children.The next step is court.
My family are supportive, in a quiet kind of way and know he is controlling. What I’m finding hard, is not being able to tell people the truth about him and why I left. He is so popular and charismatic, they would think I was lying.
I didn’t even realise I was in a coercive relationship and had been married to him for 28years. Counselling has helped me process my situation but I’ve just been telling everyone that we grew apart.
I’ve made a few new friends and I’m trying hard to do what normal friends do, like go for coffee in my local town. The terrible thing is, that one of his last accusations was that I’m a lesbian and my first thought when I arranged to meet a friend for coffee, was that he might see us and make more accusations. Then I came to my senses and thought what the hell am I doing. I should be able to go out for coffee as any friends would normally do. I suppose that’s what narcissist behaviour does to you, conditions your mind and alters the way you think.
My mediator was brilliant and I had told myself to stick to the facts and not say anything about his controlling behaviour but she wanted to know about my marriage and then it all came out. I was dreading this meeting and she made me feel relaxed and able to talk to her. I feel so much better this week. I’m looking forward to a calm Christmas and not cooking Xmas dinner and actually being a guest for once.