How to act in front of the children

[MadeinSW3]

Separated after lots of back and forth and trying to make it work not working at all.

I can’t bare even to say good morning but I know this will affect the children.

We have to live together for financial reasons.

Do you act happy go lucky in-front if the children?

I work in this area of law (divorce and custody).

I would say polite and civil is sufficient. What’s also good is if you can divide up time so you aren’t in the house as much (if possible) together. So take it in turns to go out in evenings (gym, walk, meet friends). Same for weekends. That way there is also an element of the kids getting use to life after separation this way.

I definitely do, it’s not always easy (understatement) but I try and behave exactly how I did before the shit hit the fan…DH cannot manage that and is tearful and needy a lot of the time, so hopefully the DC feel like they have one stable parent at least.

I've been in this situation for 9 long months. He used to continue kissing me good morning and good night but I stopped this as I couldn't bear it. His face looming up to me- all I wanted to do was punch it!
Anyway, we don't talk about anything serious about the separation. All through solicitors. So we talk only about the kids or the dog. It's pretty awful but manageable. Things will get tough when it comes to the financial order though- he thinks I'm being unfair and "screwing" him. He wanted to decide himself what he should get to be bought out of the house, ie loads more than is actually fair.
Good luck. It's a long hard road but I'm glad to finally be on it.

Thank you.

Yes - my goal is to try to be out of the house for chunks of time. Harder during the dark cold evenings now.

I know- it's horrible. I even feel sorry for him. My dc are 13 and 17. 17 yo knows exactly why I can't stay with him so she understands. 13 yo is in his bedroom most of the time- always has been so not much change for him. Winter is going to be so hard as going out on the dark and cold doesn't appeal to me either and also I don't want to constantly abandon the dc. Christmas will also be hard. Hope you find a way through this with your sanity intact! X

@Peach2021

I definitely do, it’s not always easy (understatement) but I try and behave exactly how I did before the shit hit the fan…DH cannot manage that and is tearful and needy a lot of the time, so hopefully the DC feel like they have one stable parent at least.

This is exactly my situation. And like others have said, I don't want to go out too often and not be around for the kids.

There is no denying it is incredibly tough. But it will be worth it in the end. Let's face it, what's the alternative - stay in a relationship with someone unbearable?

Sending you strength.

Another one in the same situation, but because stbxh refuses to leave until consent order is agreed. I agree with @Rosemaryandlemon, polite and civil, though one of my older kids is just weirded out by that and won't spend time with us together. I guess he's used to sniping and bickering. So we try to alternate who's there at mealtimes, and everyone does spend a lot of time in bedrooms.