Confused and scared about divorce

[unisurge]

Hi there I'm worried me and my husband are heading for divorce. We have two sons aged 7 and 14. We have a mortgaged house with about 200000 equity. I only work part time and don't earn much. Im worried I will have to go back to rental hell. I worked prt time and supported him whilst he started a successful business. He can basically say he earns nothing so he doesn't have to give me child support. He will be able to take dividends from his business and buy a house and I won't have anything. I don't care soo much about the money I just want the kids to be ok and to feel secure at my house and for me to be able to provide for them. Im worried that they will just want to be at their dads where the money is. I feel silly I allowed myself to get in this position where I feel really powerless. Can anyone offer any reassurance? What will I be entitled too? Will I be ok? Thank you xxx

You’ll be entitled to a fair share of assets - no one here can tell you what that is

Yiu may able you claim some benefits but You should look to return full time too

There are all sorts of possibilities. It depends what the court thinks is fair and equitable. One of the the possibilities is that you could be awarded the house in total (provided he earns enough money to house himself) . It's more likely you would just be awarded more than the 50% due to the fact that he is a high earner and you aren't. Try not to worry too much.

Where does it say he’s a high earner? He’s just self employed successful can be a vastly different range to people

Only a solicitor will be able to guide you but basic principles

Housing needs of children are paramount
Housing for both parties is important
Length of marriage and ages of parties will be a consideration
Total assets will be assessed
Earning potential as well as current will be considered ( both parties expected to maximise this - ie not expect spousal )

A range of outcomes possible

Try not to panic. He's being a bit of a bully here with the business thing. If he takes dividends out of the business that will count as income. And if he leaves it in as a retained profit, it's an asset. I obviously don't know the numbers involved, but just to reassure you he shouldn't be able to have it both ways. See a solicitor.

The good news is there is equity. To which you will be entitled at least half. Potentially more.

You should be entitled to some benefits. However once you get to the point where the money from any sale is in the bank you may lose them. Find out. If the equity isn't enough to buy somewhere you could buy a flat and rent it out and live off the income. Or just have it in mind that once you have your equity you may need to top up your earnings
From it. But you could do that and get the youngest into high school and be full time to get a good mortgage and still have at least 50k of it left. There are options.

When there is inbalance it is hard but the kids dont care of favour one or the other. The kids will soon realise their dad is trying to financially punish you. They arent daft. Your kids love you because you are you!

You're not there yet so you have time to make yourself more secure.

All rest on you getting a FT job. Your 14yo is fine after school so it would only be paying for your 9yo and most likely only for a year.

Once you have a FT job, you'll be able to get a reasonable mortgage with a deposit of £100k.

You might be left with limited disposable income but you'll have you place and your freedom.

You will struggle all around on part time hours.

The business is a joint asset as well though OP so will be taken into account when splitting the pot.

You need to collect as much information as you can and get legal advice

Thank you for all your replies. I just hate this. I'm so scared and anxious. He asked for sex this morning but hasn't spoke to me properly for two days. He's said I add nothing to his life and he's not sure he loves me. He's sooo nice to everyone else and everyone loves him. I hear him talking to people on the phone and he's soooo lovely to them. But can be so nasty behind closed doors. I'm left thinking all of this is my fault. My confidence is zilch. I have a good job at the hospital but my hours are long and start early. So I rely on him for breakfast club and pick up. We had a few years apart when the 14 year old was a baby and he would drop it on me last minute that he was working away etc. I have no family I can rely on. He has a big rich family. I don't know what to do. I don't think I can increase my hours at the moment. I guess i need to be grateful there are people much worse off than me. Thanks for all your replies xxxx