Unreasonable behaviour examples on divorce petition

[Nat1010]

Hi everyone,
Currently drafting my divorce petition. I have plentiful examples but I'm struggling to decide what is the bare minimum I need to include to convince the court the marriage has broken down without unnecessarily aggravating my husband. I know he will not take kindly to it.
I'd really appreciate your advice...

How long since you separated? We simply stated irretrievable breakdown.

Dp put (with ex's permission) that she was unwilling to be part of family life and intimacy had stopped years prior - this was accepted

First, worst and last. You don’t need to provide chapter and verse.

8 months and I should say, the husband doesn’t want to divorce.

No fault divorce should be coming in April 2022 which allows one party to apply for divorce without the other party having to agree. Not sure if you can wait until then, but if your OH is blocking it, it might be an option.

Why do you want to write only bare minimum?

I supported a friend thru her petition last year.
She just cataloged facts, I suppose.
The facts were almighty in her case. I suspect a combination of any 2 of these would have been adequate for the court.

Cheating that she could document. He got arrested (for assault against one of his girlfriends). Assault on friend herself. Emotionally cold. Unsupportive when she went to hospital after an accident. Pretending to engage in marriage counselling while seeing (Lying about) the other women. Other examples of lying & being unreliable.

Lots of people would be able to note financial problems like if the fellow gambled, got into debts, lied about how he spent money and brought none in. Or went missing with no word. Or was arguing all the time. Especially about stupid things.

Friend didn't even need to state how she couldn't take the situation emotionally any more, the factual statements were plenty to show his behaviour was unreasonable.

Because I want to try and minimise the damage as much as possible. There’s young kids involved. I don’t need the acknowledgement of anything. Just want my freedom and peace back. So want to try and make it as amicable as possible and the more I disclose the worse his reaction will be, unfortunately.

4-6 examples
Each one about three sentences, what happened, when it happened and how it made you feel.

Eg my husband didnt want to socialise with me and complained when I went out, this was throughout our marriage and made me feel that he wanted to control me

Eg my husband didn’t help around the home and saw this as my role. This was throughout the marriage but worse after we had children and I worked part time. This made me feel unappreciated.

It can be fairly mild if you word it right. You don’t need to put all the worst stuff in to avoid him contesting. Avoid things he has done to the kids.
Divorce lawyer here

As @Tibtab has already said, from April the whole system is changing and no fault divorce is coming in. It might be easier to wait.

If you decide you want to go ahead, you need 5 or 6 examples of unreasonable behaviour. It could be things such as "on such and such date he did this", I would always add "and this made me feel unloved/undermined/belittled" - nobody can argue again how something makes you feel (if that makes sense) 👍

I know what you mean and I was in the same position. Had plenty I could have said but didn't want to go into it and it makes no difference anyway. I think your idea of saying the bare minimum just to get the divorce started and get away is good.

I entered three examples. They were very, very short. Two sentences each. The first was the action, and the second how it made me feel. It went through without a problem very fast.

The test is whether the behaviour is such that is would be unreasonable for the petitioner to continue to live with the spouse so I think the advice above Re giving some examples noting how this made you feel. You could say for example “x made me feel “insert” by doing things including a, b and c” so you are making it clear it is a non-exhaustive list. But unlikely you should have to give chapter and verse unless petition is opposed.

Thank you so much everyone, your advice is much appreciated and what I had hoped to hear. I shall get drafting my examples.
Thanks again x

Could have a few examples with "we" we don't want to spend time with each other as well as a number that relate directly to the behaviour of the ex.

Mine included he was engaged to someone else he replied to the petition that the fact that he was engaged had nothing to do with it.......we were all really confused about that one but he consented to the divorce despite objecting to my reasons for divorce

He still claims we are not divorced

We absolutely are divorced

@waterSpider

Could have a few examples with "we" we don't want to spend time with each other as well as a number that relate directly to the behaviour of the ex.

“We” examples don’t meet the test of the respondents behaviour being unreasonable as that’s mutual behaviour

Great advice again, thanks FabricedeSauveterre!

Be prepared for the eventuality that however mild you are, he will still take umbrage and not cooperate. Mine got very irate even though I worded my grounds diplomatically - though it was hard to put 'he's a raging alcoholic who doesn't do any housework though we both work full time, doesn't take part in family life and has angry outbursts that affect the kids' diplomatically.

Yes, I’m fully prepared for that. Well, as prepared as one can be…
Hope your divorce went /is going as well as it can be x

I just put on mine sexless marriage and no intimacy (over a decade) and we were living separate lives for two years (but under the same roof). Court accepted it.

@FabricedeSauveterre

It can be fairly mild if you word it right. You don’t need to put all the worst stuff in to avoid him contesting. Avoid things he has done to the kids. Divorce lawyer here

Can I ask why you say to avoid stuff about the kid? Surely that holds more weight?