Stbx threatening to quit work - child maintenance?

[Postmodernjukebox]

We are in the middle of mediation for separation. In mediation, stbx is very logical, calm etc. But he has said to me (and mentioned in mediation, but it wasn’t really picked up on) that he is seriously close to quitting work due to stress.

He is/was the main earner - I work part time and do everything family related (one child sen)

Where would I stand if we separated and then he decided to quit his job?

Hello OP, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have just been through separation and it was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. I am sorry to tell you but this is what I heard, men sometimes do this to avoid paying child maintenance and as far as I understand the laws where I live (not UK) you would also have to pay him spousal support. I am paying my ex spousal support just because at the moment he is lower earner (lost his job due to covid and is working on a lower paid job).

Let's just hope that someone with legal background chimes in. Take care OP.

From a child support point of view no one is going to make him step up and go to work. Equally. No one is really going to get him to pay if my experience of the system is anything to go by.

He is looking for a reaction. Don't give him one you have no influence over what he does now.

Make sure you are claiming what you are entitled to. Go through all your out going's and get them as low as you can. Make a budget on the income you know you will get. If he pays then that's a bonus.

Or maybe just maybe he is thinking about quitting his job because it is stressful and made worse by the stress of the separation?
People do quit jobs because of this and not just to avoid child maintenance which I know is different from the usual MN view but people forget that CMS payments are a small percentage of income - why would most sane people give up a good job to avoid a small payment unless it was actually stress related?

are you married? be very very careful

dp did this when we got divorced (quit his job). Ran down his savings as he had no earnings. Meant when the financial settlement was done, he had no earnings, no assets and did a big woe is me to the lawyers. I told them the minute the divorce was finalised he would get a job in 2 mins. They 'heard' me but said they could only take the facts as they were in front of them.

Meant he got vast amounts more from me than he should have done. I had to pay him 50% of the house as a lumpsum by taking out a further mortgage on the house (despite me looking after our kids, working FT, paying all the childcare and the mortgage on my own). Of course, the minute the final divorce was signed, he got a job and lorded it up with my lumpsum.

People do stupid things and when you split up, people you thought were totally reasonable will suddenly be complete arseholes especially when it comes to money. Just be v careful.