3 children, under 10. Can I keep the house?

[SadlyEndingSoon]

Married 15 years, together for 25 years. Both mid 40's. He earns 4 times my salary. I want to keep the house until the kids are older, how likely is this? He has been viewing new build houses as he wants to sell and do a 50/50 split with the profits. £100,000 left on the mortgage. All advice welcome.

More info needed
Can you afford the mortgage on your own?
Who are the DC going to be living with?
I assume you will be expecting more than a 59-50 split of assets. Also you are only talking about the house. What about other assets eg pensions, savings. They all need to be taken into account.
My advice - he is not your friend. He is doing what suits him. You need to get yourself well informed and quickly. Try rights of women and women’s aid for information. Hopefully others will post links.

Best wishes

I earn £1030 a month, mortgage is £835. Do lenders take into consideration child maintenance / government money? He had grand plans to move 500 miles away and wanted to see the kids once a month. The new house he likes is 3 miles away but I doubt he would want them more frequently that previously expressed.

Try rights of women and women’s aid for information. Hopefully others will post links.
They will not help you with regards to financial advice/mortgage advice.
OP, I've been down every road of help for similar reasons. Don't bother with women's aid or citizens' advice, etc.
Have a read about Mesher Orders. There are pros and cons, but it's worth giving it some thought.
www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-jan-apr-2018/mesher-orders-explained/

You could also say, I want the house, you keep your whole pension. Offsetting the value of the pension against another asset. In this case, your house. This can work but it depends on the value of each asset.

Do lenders take into consideration child maintenance/government money?

Yes, they will. And since your children are still young, this works in your favour. Benefits are also considered a stream of income.

I think in theory lenders take court ordered maintenance and benefits into account. From my research, its only a small number of lenders and in reality i wonder how often mortgages are given on this basis. (In my experience not possible but that may be because my mortgage is bigger)

First up you don’t keep the house. It will always be split as an asset. Meaning you will have to give him his share at some point. You will be paying for his growing investment for years.

The purpose of the divorce proceedings will be to separate you both legally and financially. If this can be achieved it will be achieved unless he is willing to agree to an alternative arrangement.

The question you need to ask is with your share of the equity could you house yourself and the children in a suitable home, rented or bought. That could be the FMH if you can afford it. It could be a smaller home local enough for schools.

If you can’t meet your housing needs based on equity share and income then you can argue for Mesher order. An opposing side will produce examples of homes they think are suitable if any are available.

I too am in the process of arguing for a mesher order. I cannot rehouse our children if the house is sold. I would prefer to sell now and have a clean break, than when they are 18, and have looked at every avenue. However after careful consideration a mesher order looks like the only way I can give my children stable accommodation.
Get good advice from a solicitor, and look at all avenues ie. Shared ownership. Good luck x

I doubt you would be able to keep the house based on your affordability.

If you earn £1,030 per month / £12,360 per year you could borrow around £55.5k. You say there is £100k outstanding on the mortgage. You couldn’t afford the mortgage.

Mesher orders (IMO) are a bad idea. They only delay the inevitable. Better to face into this now & get your own place rather than pay the mortgage on a home for years (which you will struggle to do) and then in the sale your EH will get a share of the profits.

Get legal advice. You are in the position where a mesher order can be the best option - long relationship, children, huge disparity in income. A mortgage in your name would be difficult but you might be able to keep the home on a mesher order and maybe even most of the equity depending on the pension situation. Its often said on threads that a clean break is better but it's really not always the case.

You need to both get a valuation of your pensions, you can request these online usually. Then you'll need a valuation of the house. That'll give you a starting point for dividing assets. Plus legal advice on percentage of division as it may well not be 50:50.