I’m in the process of separating from my husband, we have two primary aged children and are looking at shared care, so an 8/6 day split across a fortnight.
Our finances are a bit complex, as follows
My salary (PT). 1400
His salary (FT). 1700
DLA. 333
Adoption allowance 700
Child benefit 140
I also have income from my business of around 600/month
My thinking is that the various benefits belong to the kids, and are used for various therapies, activities etc that they need and which I arrange payment for. His income therefore would be significantly less than mine. I don’t want him to be on the breadline but I also don’t want to be subsiding him. He also should technically be paying child support but I don’t feel I can ask him for that given my higher income and we get allowances paid for the kids.
I had thought of giving him the DLA equivalent to cover costs of activities, supports while the kids are with him, so he’d have around £2000/month and I’d have around £3000 albeit with much higher living costs.
Does this sound reasonable or am I being overly generous? I don’t want there to be a significant difference in standard of living across the two of us from the kids point of view, so far we’ve been amicable and I want to keep it this way but I also don’t want to be taken for a ride.