On the day that I decide to split, what do I need to do urgently ?

[GoodnightGrandma]

Just that

Is this a get out quick situation?

Make sure you've got all your paperwork (ID documents, account info etc) safe, and gather as much info as you can on your joint (and his) finances eg mortgage, accounts, savings, in case things go "missing".
Get legal advice so you know where you stand.
Good luck.

@AllInTentsWithPorpoises

Is this a get out quick situation?

No.

Can’t speak to solicitor until Monday

I would take all essential paperwork with you, if he's likely to be violent, vindictive or otherwise obstructive then taking essential clothes and anything you personally own eg family heirlooms to a friends house is wise but isn't necessary if it's more amicable. We stayed in the same house for 7 months, everyone is different

I’m hoping it will be amicable, but we’ll see.

Passport, credit card for convenience and to get you started wherever you are going.

Ideally change the Passwords for online banking etc and make sure you have a safe copy of the new password.

Ideally, copies of bank statements for current and savings accounts. Birth certificates

Anything you can't replace like sentimental things, at least take a photo so you have a momento.

Truly important thing is to get yourself out of any dangerous situation.

I'd also make sure that you change your passwords to your phone, laptop, email account etc, as you will have confidential correspondence with Solicitors etc that you won't want him to see.

I’ve recently changed the password on my email, as I didn’t realise that it’s an email address that was ‘gifted’ to me from his account !
I’ll do my laptop and phone now.

I’ve recently changed the password on my email, as I didn’t realise that it’s an email address that was ‘gifted’ to me from his account !

If your email address is one provided by his account, there is every chance that he will have admin access to read your password.

I'd be inclined to start a new email address. I'm pretty sure gmail provides free accounts.

Good luck

Yes, Ive got a Gmail account that I set up specifically, I need to start using it now !

Do you have your own (not joint) bank account? If not, can you set one up? Just so you have some money somewhere in case he plays silly buggers with an joint account. Also as a PP says, a credit card in case you need one.

Make sure you are logged out of accounts on any devices that he will have access to afterwards. E.g. if you have an iPhone is your iCloud being used on a computer or iPad etc.

Yes I have my own account, and I have my wages paid into it now.
I’m not a fan of credit cards, one of the problems in my marriage, as I prefer to live within my means.
But maybe I’ll get one and stick it in the back of the wardrobe for absolute emergencies. Getting used to being in charge and on your own is going to be strange.

Have spare bag of clothes at a trusted friends place.

Organise where-would you stay for a week if the situation turned messy - a cooling off safe house?

Draft a letter of agreement and intent as to how you want the next month or two would functionally progress.

Nothing detailed as in who gets what.. just a “functional” means of sharing a joint family home (if you are staying in the house) living arrangements or use of vehicles, bills (50/50), simply a high level cordial agreement you can both agree without adding to emotional tensions

Copies of all financial matters: life & health insurances, bank ac’s, credit cards, passport/birth / marriage certificate.

Car: who’s name is the vehicle in?

Forward important emails from joint email ac to your new address and delete the sent folder items.

Photos- have back up of all photos, momentos in safe place.

Try and get hold of his wage slips and account balances too.

Get your marriage certificate as you will need it to divorce

I’m not a fan of credit cards, one of the problems in my marriage, as I prefer to live within my means.

Apologies if this feels like a high jack of your thread, I really wanted to clarify what I mean about a credit card.

I use a credit card for lots of things. It does not stop me living within my means. My credit card account is automatically paid off in full from my current account each month. I'm proud to have never paid any interest on my credit card account.

Apart from convenience, there are really useful side effects of using a credit card, such as consumer protection for travel - for example, if goods are faulty or a flight is cancelled, so long as you paid by credit card, you can claim your money back from the credit company and leave it to them to claim back from the suppliers of faulty goods.

It is good for your personal credit rating to hold a credit card where the account is always paid off in full each month. This build your identify as a credit worthy company and can be helpful when trying to access larger items of credit such as a mortgage.

Good luck in your new world of having sole responsibility for your own finances.

Lots of practical advice here OP. I'm not sure if you have children but protecting them and supporting them should be a number one priority if you do. Do nothing that uses them against him - it will harm them.

If you have 2 weeks to plan and know where you are going, you could arrange to have your post re-directed.

Change your e mail address on all your personal accounts.

Remove your half of savings from any joint accounts and tell the bank you want to be removed from the account, if he has issues with debt.

Take your name off any utilities for the house.

Have packed and ready personal photos and things of sentimental value. These are often a target for revenge.