Need a rant - exh too tight to put hot water on when kids stay

[StillIncredulous]

FFS.
Another low - he's stopped putting the water on because it's too expensive.
He bought a £300k mortgage free last year, two new cars (one Audi R8, yes, people say midlife crisis) and now this.
I've just asked him to go halves on DofE for eldest, £80. He said no, that's maintenance. £47pw.
Help me to understand!!

When did your DC decide to stop going EOW? And did they ever recognise their dad was tight, and it was you holding it all together?
It's so difficult always being the adult against such childish twattery.

I'm sorry you are in this situation. How old are your children. My son very quickly stopped going to his dads. We separated in the jan. Eow started March when he moved in with ow. Kids were sleeping on their bedroom floor as there was no bedroom for them. By the summer my son didn't want to go. The environment. Dads attitude and general not welcome he felt it. I managed to encourage him until the September. His 12 birthday he flat out refused after that. My youngest adores her dad. He is now with new gf who has 4 kids of her own so busy house. Again sleeping on floors and generally a bit rubbish but because there are other children it's a lot more fun now so I'm pleased she isn't just watching films whilst her dads sleeps. She is coming up for ten. I think as they get to high school things change.

That's really shitty, I'm sorry.
So they have no hot water or heating when they stay? Do they tell you this, have they complained they don't want to go? Seems like a definite welfare/neglect issue that you need further advice on. Easiest would be to stop them going, but is this what he wants so he then stops maintenance?
I'm assuming he's self employed to get away with paying so little?

My own dd had good relationship with her dad and he was reasonable but she stopped doing overnights around 12 as she just wanted to be at home in her own space, I think its common at that age if they don't have their own bedroom at nrp.

I can see why he's your ex - he's a utter, selfish twat!

How old are the DC? I'd say by the time they're 9 or 10 they'll start to question why things are so different at their dad's house. Not putting the hot water on FFS when he's got a new house and two new cars sitting on the driveway???

In my family, EOW stopped when I was 14 and I'd had an absolute gutful by then of going to dad's house and being ignored all weekend while he gardened and did stepmother's (who hated us) bidding.

No, CMS take from his salary but of course he SUDDENLY started a pension at work (prior to me divorcing him, he ridiculed them, but then took half of mine...) and is doing all he can to make it look like he earns nothing.
He just inherited loads of money, think 200k plus from a will. Still more to come (only child of only child).
He has an electric shower in his ensuite he lets kids use if they want.
DDs 15 & 11.

There's been other things (he's passed out drunk whilst caring for them) and shouted at eldest and driven off, leaving the house, but nothing this big for a year or two. I've picked them up then.
Last month youngest had positive Covid test, as did he, on the day they were supposed to go, but he phoned me, yelled at me, called me a selfish cnt who didn't care about the children, just wanted my free weekend etc etc. I wanted them still to go, let them test positive together!
Well yes, I DID need my free weekend actually - I work, am studying for a PhD and care for them. I divorced him almost six years ago, I think I'm allowed a life now. And it was SIX YEARS AGO!

called me a selfish cnt who didn't care about the children

Oh, the irony!

Please let your children know that they don’t have to go.
I was still seeing my Dad on a Sunday when I was 17 because I didn’t know how to stop.
Seems silly now, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.