Should I divorce him?

[forrestgreen]

We'd been married over 25years and he decided to have an affair. He's now with her. We are obviously separated but will need a divorce.
Should I divorce him or wait til he can be bothered to divorce me?

(I'm leaning towards leaving it to him as I've done every piece of admin since we met and it's his turn!)

Well, if there's no reason for you to rush it I'd say leave it to him, yeah. That's worked for a few people I know. Good luck!

Just be aware that financially you are risking him building debt and it being part of the marital pot. I would seek legal advice tbh.

Are you legally separated?

I would seek legal advice. Who is paying the mortgage? What has happened to any joint money/savings etc? Do you still have anything in joint names?

Personally I would want to take control.

Change your will immediately though, and appoint a new next of kin

No fault divorce comes in in April 2022 I think

Honestly, the answer to this depends on an individual's financial situation. What might be right for me would be dead wrong for someone else.

See a solicitor and give them a good picture of your and his finances, any minor children, etc. They're the ones in a position to tell you whether you're better off controlling the process as the plaintiff or waiting to react as the respondent.

All children adults
All money separated, but take on board the point about new debt!
House sold

I don't know how to be legally separated?

Oh and I've got a new will

It depends how you feel.

On a practical level though, it'd probably be better to get things going. It takes a while, and there's the potential debt issue. And if you come into any money while you're still married, he could have a claim on it.

You need to speak to a solicitor and make your decisions based on that advice.

My solicitor told me he can arrange a legal separation, which means you are financially separate i.e. he couldn't take out a loan or credit card in your name. And then if you want to go on to divorce after that, you can, but you don't have to. I didn't know anything about this until he told me. I am hoping to wait until next April for the no fault divorce, and start the ball rolling now with legal separation. If I ever manage to tell dh :(

I haven't bothered myself yet, the longer I leave it the more pension he accrues! We are on good terms though

@forrestgreen

All children adults All money separated, but take on board the point about new debt! House sold

I don't know how to be legally separated?

Can I ask was the house sold as neither of you wanted to remain in it? Was the equity split 50/50?