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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Frightened of him but I've decided to divorce

4 replies

Sickandtiredofitallinuk · 06/11/2021 15:26

Hello.

I have been married 15 years to an abusive control freak. I've slept in the spare room for past year. We're in our fifties. No children involved. He owns a 3 bed house which his mum lives in alone. We bought this house jointly. I sold my previous house for my share of deposit and he remorgaged his mother's house for his half of deposit.

He has paid the mortgage throughout the marriage. I have paid for everything else including cars, council tax, everything.

I have nowhere to move to. I have no friends. My elderly parents are in a care home and my brother lives in a one bed flat. His mother lives in the next town with 2 spare bedrooms.

Does anybody know where I stand? Can I get him to move in with his mother? He won't go willingly. Will I be able to sell the marital home? Should I put it up for sale first or should I apply for a divorce first?
I would be happy to continue with mortgage payments myself. I can afford those once he is out as he is very very high maintenance. Once he is out of my life, my expenses will go down considerably as he spends money like its going out of fashion.

Thank you for reading and for any advice.

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 07/11/2021 08:32

Speak to a solicitor.
No, you can’t make him move out. If you can’t stand living with him can you afford to rent somewhere ?
You are going to be entitled to half of the mum’s house so maybe a deal can be done that you end up with a bigger share (or all) of your current home.
Start getting stuff together and don’t agree to anything that you haven’t run past your solicitor.

GoodnightGrandma · 07/11/2021 08:36

And remember, if you’re frightened or feel threatened when you’re having/had the conversation, call the police.

zafferana · 07/11/2021 08:55

I agree - you need legal advice. If you have no idea how to find a solicitor or what you need to take with you when you meet with a solicitor, make an appointment with the Citizens Advice Bureau and they will talk you through it and give you the names of local solicitors who deal with separation and divorce.

If you are afraid for your safety, call 999. If you just want to chat to an officer and get advice, call the non emergency number on 101.

Sickandtiredofitallinuk · 07/11/2021 14:00

Thank you for the responses. The police have visited twice and he was packed off to his mums both times. But he returned a few days later. He always makes me feel sorry for him.

I could rent and I am currently looking. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to face and I've not even started the divorce yet.

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