Getting evidence / things in order

[autismorarsehole]

I think I'm going to pull the plug on our marriage soon. It's been a few years coming but I want out. When people say they took time to get their ducks in a row and get evidence etc what exactly do they mean?

What did you or do you wish you'd taken photos of, got copies of paperwork etc? What do I need to think about before we have the chat?

Husband is a relatively high earner and whilst I'm hoping there will be a sensible chat, it could go totally the other way as he likes his money and loves our house (more than us!).

Earnings of both parties
Assets owned in joint and individual names
Pensions details
Mortgage and other debts held on joint and individual names

These will be key pieces of information

How it’s split will depend on factors to include your ages
Your earnings now and potential
Length of marriage
Number and ages of children
Housing needs of children

What @millymolls says mainly - the financial stuff. Minor irritations down the line were things like birth certificates and marriage certificate but that wasn’t insurmountable.

I found Wikivorce very helpful. Have a good think about how you’ll manage the children, if that’s relevant, i think research shows that amicable and calm parents has a considerable effect on their wellbeing.

Thank you. I'm amicable and reasonable. I'm hoping (rather too optimistically) that he will be too. But then, if he was we wouldn't be here in this situation...

This is what you need to do

Get copies of all the paperwork
Tell your children etc
Prepare to either move out or change the locks
Find a divorce lawyer
Figure out finance stuff

Consider ages of the kids

I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to change the locks ?

Ignore languagelover!!

You def don't want to be telling your children before you guys have the chat. That's some nasty emotional abuse.

Also don't even think about changing locks on a house you both own. That will land you in legal hot water and is downright combatitive.

Marriage Certificate! You need that to file for divorce.

Details of pensions (if he's had several employers in the past ideally you'd have all of their details and the years he worked for them, unless he has consolidated pensions) and how much he earned/earns now

All savings accounts and investments ( in either name and joint)

Details of how his bonus/ profit share works and when it pays out, is there a share save scheme from his work?

Paperwork relating to your own earnings, pension etc before children and after

Your marriage certificate, passports etc

Oh, and stuff relating to your home, how much is the mortgage, who is it with, what equity exists in the home and how this was made up (how much did you each initially put in, how has it been paid off since (any inheritance or other windfall paid off as a lump sum?), any improvements eg extension and how these were paid for, how much is down to general property price increases)

A copy of his MOT certificate so you have a good idea of car mileage if he’s got a car. Or take a photo of how many Mike’s from the dashboard.
Mine shaved a good few thousand off the estimated value of his by lying about his car’s mileage.

What you put into the home won't be taken into account. It's all marital assets.