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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

What happens if STBXH won't engage with my solicitor?

11 replies

JanetFromAccounts · 31/10/2021 21:40

He was fine initially and played the part of acting calm and reasonable in the initial stages and cooperated well by doing the financial disclosure (voluntary Form E) etc. As soon as my solicitor sent the proposed divorce (financial) settlement he went berserk. He said he doesn't agree to it at all but refuses to either hire a solicitor himself or come back with an offer. He stopped responding to the solicitor and stopped paying me the monthly funds he puts in my account for food and kids.

Other facts: long marriage, he earns five times my salary. Divorce initiated by me due to long term abuse. STBXH immediately sent out the financial settlement proposal to all my family members in different parts of the world in a bid to shame me and paint me as greedy. When he got no reaction from me he then sent the document on to various members of his family so that the wider community would know all the details.

I knew he would be difficult but I didn't think he'd make a fool of himself like this. What happens now that he's acting like a mad man and will not talk to my solicitor?

OP posts:
Pumpkinsonparade · 31/10/2021 21:41

Cms for starters....

Lonecatwithkitten · 31/10/2021 21:42

CMS
Invite him to mediation, if that fails court.

MissSmiley · 31/10/2021 21:59

It'll take a long time in my experience, 5 years and nearly there finally but I didn't want to go to court and wasn't in a huge rush, my solicitor said my ex was probably the most difficult man he had ever dealt with! I suggested maybe not as difficult as being married to him for over twenty years

MissSmiley · 31/10/2021 22:00

Oh and mediation made things much worse, cms not possible due to him owning a limited company, we stayed amicable, cost me a fortune though

SortCode · 31/10/2021 22:20

My friend has gone through 2 years of trying to get finances agreed. Mediation failed, went to court as both sides werent backing down. Cost her £12,000 on solicitors fees plus £3000 for a barrister for court

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 31/10/2021 22:36

Your solicitor will proceed anyway and the process will go through the courts.

Him sending that proposal to everyone is the funniest thing I've read on here for a long time.

And CMS for child support. It's a mumsnet myth that self employed parents or parents with limited companies don't have to pay child support - they do.

Itsybitsydooda · 01/11/2021 10:01

CMS straight away. Don't go to mediation as you have a history of abuse. Have your solicitor take it straight to court.

JanetFromAccounts · 01/11/2021 13:32

Thank you for all the replies.

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe I know right! Such a plonker

@MissSmiley how could mediation make things worse?

OP posts:
MissSmiley · 01/11/2021 17:39

@JanetFromAccounts my ex found mediation very stressful, he also didn't really understand it (despite being very intelligent) he thought it was a bit like therapy, every session just made him more upset and he thought I was out to persuade him to my thinking, which I wasn't. Eventually we agree things between ourselves, which was much easier.

Rachna83 · 03/11/2021 22:15

Best bet is to go to court. These type of exes just mean you waste your money on solicitor fees. I filed form a in February FDA was June and FDR November so gives you an idea of timeline. My ex refused to attend mediation so I've had to do it all the hard way.

freeatlast2021 · 04/11/2021 21:31

Our mediator was useless Sad

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